Girl Scouts of McAlester

Being Miss Green Country has invited so many opportunities to travel through the most beautiful parts of our state. Eastern Oklahoma is just gorgeous, particularly in the early morning when the roads are quiet and the sky is filled with the clearest shade of blue. I came home to Shawnee Friday, setting off to McAlester Saturday morning to meet with the Girl Scouts.

An hour and a half of John Mayer’s live album kept me company as I pulled up to Life Church in McAlester. What an amazing church! I was told they recently added a second phase because the town of 17,000 just kept joining. The room I spoke in was the “Club 56” for 5th and 6th grade students, and even had light effects!

The Girl Scouts were fantastic! They had a busy day planned after I left with a father-daughter dance, hence the adorable dress! Each had some experience with relational aggression and stories to share as well. One mother also told of a time when she felt RA at the hands of a child.

While hosting a birthday party, one of her son’s friends said he wish he had known what their house had looked like because he wouldn’t have come to his birthday party. Her son then told his mother that they needed to get a bigger, nicer house. How horribly devastating that there was absolutely nothing wrong with their home, yet this young child still, possibly unbeknownst to him, degraded and embarrassed a kind family who was trying to celebrate a big event.

Relational aggression doesn’t just hurt children when they are targeted, but their parents feel the pain in their hearts as well. When I hear of stories like hers, I feel so blessed to speak with troops and schools across the state. When I was growing up, the term “relational aggression” had yet to be coined, and I do not remember any special visitors who spoke about bullying. It is an incredible honor to touch so may lives in the way my title has allowed!

Thank you, McAlester Girl Scouts, for welcoming me and recognizing the power you have against relational aggression!

Girl Scouts of Jenks

With three troop presentations in one week again, I felt like I really was living the life of Miss Oklahoma! I met a Jenks Intermediate Middle School troop on Thursday, April 19th. Bless them for welcoming me post-gym work out, and being so receptive to my program!

The girls had many stories of experiencing relational aggression personally, and what their school does to stop bullying as well. One thing I have heard from a few students is the idea of a “bullying box.” Some schools create a box with slips of paper to identify who was exhibiting bullying behavior and the person who was reporting the incident. Why couldn’t it be anonymous? Because sometimes anonymity provides the opportunity to intentionally “tattle” as opposed to “telling,” which is necessary when someone is being hurt physically or emotionally by another.

A few felt the bullying box was not effective, while others thought it worked as well as it could. Many schools do not take relational aggression seriously, which is why we hear about anorexia, drug and alcohol abuse, and teen suicides. I am glad to hear Jenks is taking a stand against bullying, but know that this troop in particular is armed with the knowledge and backbone to stand up for themselves and others when bullying arises.

A few of the fantastic troop members!

One troop member shared a story which I could completely relate to. She was at school the other day when two friends began whispering. Asking what they were talking about, they said “nothing – it’s a secret.” She began to wonder why it could not be shared with her, until she realized – it might be a secret about her. I cannot count the number of times this happened in middle school. Relational aggression right into the open, feeling like a knife in your heart as you deflate immediately.

Another troop member asked me what my biggest mistake was as a target of bullying. As I dwelled on it, I realized that my greatest regret was not telling someone what was happening. With bullying as such a constant in the media now, life is different. Ten and fifteen years ago, bullying was nothing more than a physical offense which left a real bruise. Every day, I got in the car and my mom asked me how my day went – “fine,” I responded. Never would I provide more information, because the girls who were leaving me out, making fun of me, and coming up with names to call me were the ones I had grown up with my whole life – whose parents my parents were friends with. Surely, I thought, this would go away, but keeping it inside was not the answer.

I was so impressed with the quality of thought put into our conversation and it really made me dig deep – back to the days when every day was a struggle and I feared every social aspect of live, including school. Thank you to the Jenks Girl Scouts for inviting me and bringing forth such a thought provoking conversation!

Girl Scout Troop #649

Of all the amazing things which come from being Miss Green Country, sharing my platform is by far, my favorite! On April 16th I met with the Girl Scouts of Metro Christian – Troop #649. They are a group of fourth-grade girls who were following my presentation so perfectly – with thoughtful insight and a yearning for positive change.

I had a wonderful time visiting Metro Christian and enjoyed every question they had. From asking about my most shocking experience with bullying to how I keep my high heels on – we covered it all! Troop #649 is truly so fortunate to have great troop leaders who recognize the need for this type of program and maintain a close eye on their member’s relationships.

One member stayed to chat as the girls transitioned to craft activities and said she wanted to be just like me. My heart absolutely melted. It is always so special to meet someone who is struggling in many of the ways I have and who is searching for some sort of hope. I was so flattered by her honesty and really enjoyed talking about our experiences with relational aggression together.

This sweet troop also gifted two delicious boxes of Girl Scout cookies (those amazingly decadent Thin Mints and a box of peanut butter delight – Do-Si-Dos!) – which will be such a treat. Good thing Thin Mints are even better frozen! Several girls also said they will attend Miss O in June – how cool is that?! Thank you Troop #649 for a wonderful afternoon and such excitement about  working against relational aggression! I absolutely loved meeting each one of you!

Norman Girl Scouts

Today I visited another group of students – the Norman Girl Scouts! Growing up, I wasn’t involved in Girl Scouts and I learned quite a bit today. Here are a few fun facts about the Girl Scouts of America:

• There are more than 3.7 million members.
• This is the 99th year of Girl Scouts.
• The motto is “Be Prepared.” (My motto too!)
• The levels include Daisies (Kindergarten/5 years), Brownies (6-9 years), Juniors (9-11), Cadets (11-14) and Seniors (14-17).

I had no idea the Girl Scouts had been scouting for nearly 100 years! Of course, I’ve always known them, like much of America, for those delicious, pageant diet-hurting, fantastically made cookies. What can I say? When it comes to the Girl Scout cookies….I’m a goner! Today I was able to speak to a troop of Brownies and Juniors about my platform. I met the girls at Jackson Elementary in Norman and they were absolutely exuberant with energy and curiosity. 

After spending an hour with them, I knew I had to search for more troops of this nature. The Girl Scouts are ideal to encourage with information about relational aggression and how we can stop it in our schools, particularly since their pledge consists of respecting others, being friendly and fair, courageous and strong, considerate and caring, and responsible for what they say and do. Girl Scouts are instilled with leadership from day one! The girls were extremely interested in my platform and paid close attention to each detail discussed. Normally, I stand in front of a group and speak, but with this troop I was able to sit in a large circle with them, which allowed for more comfortable and open dialogue. 

After my program, the girls ALL wanted my autograph! They were so sweet to tell me how much they hoped I would become Miss Oklahoma and if so, how they would stay up all night watching Miss America. 🙂 Today, I had some different requests though! While they all wanted my autograph, two asked me to sign rocks. I’ve never signed a rock before, so that was a first!! One even said it was her lucky rock and she knew it would be even luckier with my “autograph.”

Ready for an even stranger request? Several of the girls had stuffed animals (who also requested an autograph – my favorite was when I wrote one for Cookie the kangaroo – “Hop to stop bullying, Cookie!“). One Girl Scout brought a rubber snake (imagine the look of panic when I saw that thing on the floor!), and requested that Miss Sooner State sign the snake! Fortunately, I’m no longer afraid of fake snakes and was able to grant her wish. That’s my kind of adventurous!

Days like this remind me that “celebrities,” no matter if we are past the “D” list, are still looked up to and thought so highly about. That is one reason I believe in the Miss America Organization and the power of being Miss America. Kids of all ages, genders and ethnicities need role models and some of the “A” listers are not who I would want the girls I spoke to today aspiring to become. I’m not perfect, but I have a powerful message and desire to do good while striving to become who God intended for me to be and that is exactly what America’s youth need.