Twas the Night Before Check-In

IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE!!!

The big week has finally arrived and I could not be more excited! Clothes are stacked everywhere as I wait for the suitcases to be carted from Shawnee, healthy food fills my table, and garment bags flock the couches. I am absolutely elated for Miss Oklahoma week and will be updating nightly with the exciting events of the day. With the 40th anniversary of Miss Oklahoma – brought to you by the Kiwanis Club of Tulsa, it will be a year to remember!

Last night I had a wonderful send-off party with my Green Country family, friends and even a few sweet Girl Scouts I met over the past ten months! It was great to show them what Mi’Shell and I have accomplished this year and have a preview of the upcoming week. Tomorrow is a very big day with check-in, rehearsals and the Red Carpet Premiere.

Thank you to everyone who has made this year possible for me and who have helped me along the way! I could not have done it without your support and am bursting at the seams to get on that stage. This year I have a much different mindset, what I believe to be a more mature one. In years past I have set my sights on quantitative goals – making the semi-finals, winning a community service award, etc…. things I had no control over. I have realized that there is but one goal to have and that is to leave every aspect of competition knowing that it was the very best I have ever done.

This year, I just want to be the best “Britan” that I have ever been. Whatever that may bring, I’m ready for it! Looking forward to updating you throughout the week!

*Please keep Kent Parham in your prayers as it was posted on Facebook earlier that he was in a hospital gown. Not surprisingly, he made it look great and seemed to be in excellent spirits. I am unsure as to why he was there, but it looks as though he won’t have any trouble making it to practice tomorrow. Get better soon, Kent!

Powered Up!

The Girl Scouts have a fantastic anti-bullying program called “Powered Up,” and I was invited to work with several Tulsa and Muskogee troops during their week-long day camp. I have often been told that this curriculum is aligned perfectly with my platform presentation and I was amazed at the similarities! I spoke in the morning and later helped lead the initial Powered Up training.

The day-camp was held at the Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma house, built right in the middle of town with several acres behind it. I was even able to witness a flag ceremony – such a neat experience for these third and fourth graders! The kitchen was painted with Girl Scout words, and Girl Scout curtains flocked the large room. It is reserved for official Girl Scout meetings and used for a number of things. I was honored to attend and work with Powered Up! Thanks to the Girl Scouts for a fantastic day and my great new Powered Up shirt!!

Girl Scouts of McAlester

Being Miss Green Country has invited so many opportunities to travel through the most beautiful parts of our state. Eastern Oklahoma is just gorgeous, particularly in the early morning when the roads are quiet and the sky is filled with the clearest shade of blue. I came home to Shawnee Friday, setting off to McAlester Saturday morning to meet with the Girl Scouts.

An hour and a half of John Mayer’s live album kept me company as I pulled up to Life Church in McAlester. What an amazing church! I was told they recently added a second phase because the town of 17,000 just kept joining. The room I spoke in was the “Club 56” for 5th and 6th grade students, and even had light effects!

The Girl Scouts were fantastic! They had a busy day planned after I left with a father-daughter dance, hence the adorable dress! Each had some experience with relational aggression and stories to share as well. One mother also told of a time when she felt RA at the hands of a child.

While hosting a birthday party, one of her son’s friends said he wish he had known what their house had looked like because he wouldn’t have come to his birthday party. Her son then told his mother that they needed to get a bigger, nicer house. How horribly devastating that there was absolutely nothing wrong with their home, yet this young child still, possibly unbeknownst to him, degraded and embarrassed a kind family who was trying to celebrate a big event.

Relational aggression doesn’t just hurt children when they are targeted, but their parents feel the pain in their hearts as well. When I hear of stories like hers, I feel so blessed to speak with troops and schools across the state. When I was growing up, the term “relational aggression” had yet to be coined, and I do not remember any special visitors who spoke about bullying. It is an incredible honor to touch so may lives in the way my title has allowed!

Thank you, McAlester Girl Scouts, for welcoming me and recognizing the power you have against relational aggression!

Girl Scouts of Muskogee

On Friday morning, I woke up sicker than I have been in quite some time. I even had to take the day off of school! After spending the entire day in bed, I wasn’t sure how I would make it to the Girl Scouts of Muskogee on Saturday morning – but I did know I would find a way to power through!

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a bit better – but definitely not great. I was so weak from a lack of nutrients, that I had to ask a neighbor to help carry my bag down. Yikes. As I began the hour-long drive, I realized I had passed Muskogee and we were a bit beyond Ft. Gibson. A Girl Scout troop leader met me at a gas station, and I followed her about 12 miles down a winding road, filled with the greenest of trees. I wonder how Green Country got its name….

 

We eventually turned down a dirt road, which continued for a few more miles, and led us to the Girl Scout camp grounds. These girls take camping seriously!!! The camp grounds had several cabins and sat near a lake, surrounded by lush forest. I even saw deer roaming when I drove in! (Though, my home has a deer feeder in the front yard, so I suppose I come from somewhat of a rural area of Oklahoma!) The troops came from Muskogee, Tahlequah, and surrounding towns – just to hear me speak! The middle school students were a bit shy at first, but warmed up quickly by providing answers and asking incredibly thoughtful questions.

Speaking with these troops, we had an amazing conversation about the bully circle and what roles we have experienced, with examples. Towards the end of my presentation, many girls had questions and I encouraged other troop members to think back on our discussion and see if they could problem solve a few solutions or responses. It was amazing to see them work issues out on their own with the feedback I had given.

Gifts galore of sweet treats!

The troops were so kind to invite me to speak (they even created a flyer to advertise it!!!), and gave me the sweetest gift as I left! I now own a Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma bag to travel with, and it was filled with Girl Scout cookies (yum!), another bag, notepads, pens, a 100 Years of Girl Scouts bracelet, and much, much more! Thank you, Girl Scouts of Muskogee and Eastern Oklahoma, for sharing a wonderful afternoon with me! It is a trip I will not soon forget!!

Swimsuit ready for Miss O!

*On the way back to Shawnee (a good three hours!), I saw a Jeep with a Chi Omega sticker (how funny – just like my friend Kristin‘s – who lives in Nashville!). Wow, it even has an Indiana license plate like Kristin’s! What are the odds?! As I drove past the Jeep, I realized…IT IS KRISTIN!

Kristin dances with Nashville ballet and we became the best of friends as sorority presidents at OU. We both took the next exit and I was SO SO SO excited to chat with her and give her a great big hug! I knew she was coming to Oklahoma and that we would not get a chance to see each other. What are the odds that she and I would be driving from Ft. Gibson and Nashville, at the exact same time, on I-40? Fated friends. Here we are:

Brownie Troop #64

With each group I visit, I am always able to take something away. I learn about their view on relational aggression, their experiences, how it has changed them, how they feel, what impact they believe can be made…the list goes on and on! This particular troop, located in Owasso, gave me something incredibly thoughtful and special.

I met Troop #64 on Tuesday, March 13th – an exciting day for one of their troop members – Marina’s ninth birthday! Marina’s mom found my blog and invited me to speak with their troop. How amazing is that?! Little did I know what an amazing communication tool this blog would be when I began last year.

Troop #64

The troop of 2nd and 3rd graders were absolutely exuberant! Not only were they so intelligent, but insightful and reflective as I spoke with them. They told stories I could also relate to, particularly having a friend who did not invite you to their birthday party (though everyone else came back with loads of favors to school – further deepening the wound), because they could only invite eight girls and you were tenth on the list.

Having an inclusive personality, it still stings to think about the situation (which happened more than once). What is more unbelievable? Knowing that these girls are more than ten years younger than me, and the same scenarios are still playing out. Another troop member recalled being a bystander for a special needs student at school, and I could feel her bravery in standing up for a boy who did not possess the words to stop the aggressor himself. Remembering myself at her age, I knew I would not have had the courage for fear of becoming the victim. Proof that the Girl Scouts of the United States are instilling the most imperative of values in Oklahoma’s youth.

After I spoke to the girls, they gave me THE most amazing surprise! I was presented with a huge crate of books and puzzles for my classroom. Teaching in a  low-income area, I have no books outside of the ones my (fortunately very experienced!) co-teacher possesses. Eric Carle, Fancy Nancy, hard-back books, and wooden puzzles – like glitter to my teacher’s soul! I am so very grateful for their contribution and my students were SO excited to see new, bright, colorful books on our shelves this morning. THANK YOU Troop #64! It was such an amazing and kind gift.

We later celebrated Marina’s (she’s also an Oklahoma Star) birthday with cupcakes (I still have three months – plenty of time to celebrate with a sweet treat!), slap bracelets and green (yay!) necklaces. The girls asked me to autograph their glow-in-the-dark bracelets, slap bracelets, cups, you name it! That night, I was not the only role model in the room – but the small group of Owasso Brownies who portrayed selflessness and service to my students.

Thank you again, Troop #64!

Girl Scouts Troop #748

Sunday afternoon is my absolute favorite time of the week, and today I was fortunate to spend it with the Girl Scouts of Troop #748! The troop consists of girls between fourth and sixth grade, each attending a variety of school from Salk Elementary to Catoosa and Owasso. They are a great group and each shared their own experience with relational aggression. I enjoyed having such an intimate, small-group conversation with them – allowing us to dig more deeply into bullying.

While relational aggression covers a broad spectrum of possibilities, we were able to discuss name-calling, teacher and school responses, gossip, school uniforms, and how poverty can be a target of RA. Since I teach in an inner-city school, I often forget what a normal school with a range of financial situations looks and feels like. I need to remember this since my students could face similar obstacles in the future. Teach For America has helped train me to be the kind of teacher which will teach my kids out of low-income status and help put them onto a new life trajectory though – changing the cycle of poverty.

Troop #748 is planning to perform skits about bullying in April at Salk Elementary, and practiced their physical aggression skit with me today! I was really impressed by the thought and realistic approach they took to it, and was so honored when they asked for my help with a verbal aggression skit. We came up with several ideas, and I think each grade will be able to relate to the final script created.

This group has wonderful mothers who are prepared to help their children through any stage of bullying – whether it is as a target, bully or bystander. So often, we are unable to see our children’s faults and believe only the best. The women I met today are prepared to lead them in the right direction and teach them, rather than allow them to make the same mistakes throughout life.

Thank you so much, Troop #748! I cannot wait to see your skits and the impact you make throughout Tulsa!

Girl Scouts Troop #340

It would be an extreme understatement to say that I LOVE meeting with Girl Scouts troops! On Monday, January 23rd I spoke to a group of Union 4th graders. The girls were just bursting at the seams with enthusiasm and had fantastic input about my platform.

Most of Troop #340

Each was eager to answer my questions or respond with an example of various forms of aggression! We spoke about bullies, targets and kids in the middle – with each willing to define and explain how they saw the roles. They were wide-eyed and all ears as I spoke – allowing me to be vulnerable in my experiences.

I was impressed with the maturity of these nine and ten-year-olds, and the solutions we brainstormed for them to use at school and in other social settings. Several had tales of seeing relational aggression occur often with special needs students, and were unsure how to handle the situation as a bystander. They felt compelled to stand up for these victims, but unsure of what words to use or how to say them.

This struck a chord with the teacher inside of me. Many of my students have special needs ranging from speech impediments to autism. I know my students may need additional support in the future, which compels me to reach more groups to empower them with the ability to stand up against relational aggression.

Afterwards, the girls had many great questions! The #1? “Are you married?” They were floored when I said I was not, and explained that unmarried women under the age of 25 are allowed to compete for the chance to win scholarships and the title of Miss America. This completely baffled them – until one spoke up that she didn’t want to get married until she was 28! (Power to you, girlfriend! Maybe I can steer her towards a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies too!!) They were curious about my talent, college (all are planning to obtain higher education – holla!), and most importantly the crown. Does it have diamonds? Are those crystals? Do you have to give it back? Can I keep your crown? How does it come off?

I had such a wonderful visit with this troop and I can’t wait to see the impact they make in their schools. Thanks for the invitation, Girl Scouts Troop #340!

A few additional photos for the girls – Thanks again!!

Girl Scouts Troop #003

On Monday, January 9th I met with Girl Scouts Troop #003 to share my platform – It Has A Name: Relational Aggression. The nine Union High School seniors were beyond fantastic – even though most preferred orange over crimson! It’s rare to find a group of this sort which has stuck together and survived the stigma (which we all agreed begins around 6th grade) that being a Girl Scout isn’t “cool” anymore.

Troop 003

From band to pom to basketball – multiple interests were represented. I had such a great time sharing my knowledge and empowering this group. They told of their own experiences with relational aggression, the changes in cyber-bullying over the course of the past 6 years, and how they intervene when they see relational aggression in action. With a graduating class of nearly 1,000 one can easily get lost in a sea of “redskins,” but this spirited group definitely stands out and can be the change for their classmates. Thank you, Troop #003 for the oh so very delicious, powdered sugar-coated Savannah Smiles cookies and inviting me to your meeting!

Newcastle Middle School

Today was a really fun day! I’ve been so fortunate to team up with Janet, who works with the Girl Scouts. We worked together to combine my program with one of hers and it was awesome! The 6th, 7th and 8th grade girls of Newcastle were one of the best crowds yet. I’m always a bit concerned when speaking to older students, especially since I’ve met some sassy 5th grade groups, but the girls were intrigued and could relate to me so easily. My bullying experience peaked in middle school, and I can still feel the pain of being in a middle school cafeteria.

During Janet’s portion, she asked the girls to name a time they were hurt and then everyone would fold up the paper heart which was provided. Girls raised their hands with instances where they were called horrible names, left out or rejected. It hit home with one raised her hand and said she was called “pimple face.” Many know that I have struggled with acne for years, have tried nearly every medication, face wash, and even went to an Iridologist once. Even in recent months, my poor skin has been the point of teasing – and years later it is just as hurtful as it was in middle school.

As I began, I told the 200 excited young girls about my experiences with bullying – from being the victim to becoming a bully and a bystander. Their reactions and responses to my questions were right on par! These girls are smart to say the least. I was most impressed by their positivity. Occasionally, I will get a few smart-alecky kids (often the ones who need my program the most), but I did not have one negative comment or mean look. I haven’t had many students who react in such a way, but I expected it from middle school girls. I was thrilled that they took my message and ways to stop bullying to heart.

After the presentations, I fielded a great number of questions about bullying, what I have learned, and how to handle relational aggression. Normally, students are most interested in the pageant or my “favorite things,” but these girls meant business! They also wanted me to autograph their hearts, bullying bracelets and notebooks. I also signed three shoes – not my sole request (couldn’t resist), but the first time I’ve added my “autograph” to a shoe! I was also given a poem about friendship and what it can do against bullying. This sweet gift has been one of the highlights of my platform experience and I am thrilled to share!

“Friends are there to heal the wound

to pull you out of saddened tunes

to brighten up your cloudy skies

to clear up fictitious lies.

Friends are there with open arms

to comfort you and block the harms

to keep your secrets hidden away

and entertain when you want to play.

Friends are there, smile or tear

Friends are there, happiness or fear

Friends are fun and friends are clever

and the ties that bind friends will last forever.”

By Casey Ball

I could not have had a better day in Newcastle! I sincerely hope that these girls will continue wearing their bracelets and remember what they learned during my visit. Being able to share my stories and knowledge to make a positive impact is exactly what God intended for me to do. One of my purposes in life is to be the mentor and friend children and teenagers can look to for guidance. I’m not sure if serving the state as Miss Oklahoma or nationwide as Miss America is in the greater plan for me, but I will absolutely never, ever stop working against relational aggression.

 

Westminster Girl Scouts Troop #3177

A few weeks ago, I received a call from an Oklahoma City mom asking if I would come speak to their Girl Scout troop. Typically, I’m the one who is sending e-mails, letters and calling groups so needless to say, I was shocked and thrilled to be invited by a local organization! The Westminster Girl Scout Troop #3177 is a group of girls mostly in 2nd grade, and one precious Kindergartener. I spoke to the girls right after school and there are not words which could describe them. The entire room was not just filled with energy, but they nearly jumped out of their chairs (some did!) with excitement!

During my presentation the Girl Scouts gave great feedback! They were all eager to answer every question, even before it was asked. In between discussing relational aggression (we had to practice saying it a few times – even I can get tongue-tied!), the questions flew like popcorn! We had to save all those for later, but among my favorites include:

• “Oh my gosh. You’re so pretty! Where do you shop?”
• “Where do you get your clothes? Like, places that carry children’s clothes too!!”
• “I feel like I’ve seen you before. Do you shop at Penn Square Mall? I’ve definitely seen you there” “Oh my gosh me too!” “Me too!!”
• “Do you have a boyfriend? What’s his name???”

Taylor is always thrilled to hear that he is a focal point of every presentation. I was unsure why each group is so interested in this, but he explained that kids don’t know the difference between a beauty and scholarship pageant, therefore they think any beauty queen without a boyfriend would be weird. Go figure! What do you think about it? Any theories?

We also played the telephone game in two groups, which they L-O-V-E-D! The girls
enjoyed our silly game so much that we decided to play twice. Afterwards, we discussed what we learned and I always enjoy hearing the answers to what they gained from our chat. Each had something very important to add and made wonderful points or suggestions. These girls were kind, incredibly intelligent, and receptive to my message. I look forward to seeing the difference they make as the trend setters in the anti-bullying movement.

After our discussion, the girls went wild with autograph fever! Who knew Miss Sooner State was such a celeb?! They wanted everything signed – backpacks, Girl Scout bags, paper, notebooks, felt purses with their Girl Scout name (my favorite: Cupcake! How
cute!), and even a request for a shoe and an arm! Obviously, I was not going to sign this tiny angel’s arm with a Sharpie! 🙂 While they formed a line, the girls repeated the Girl Scout pledge and sang a song too! Every girl was able to have something signed and I loved being able to take a picture with each one! They were super fun and I was excited to spend so much time with these wonderful girls. Mikaela (left) had her American Girl book which promotes anti-bullying with her, and she wanted my John Hancock on it as well. I had never seen this book before, but it would also be great to utilize in future presentations to younger audiences!

I was sad to leave the Girl Scouts of Westminster and would have stayed all day if they didn’t have ballet classes and other activities to attend. Even as I was walking out the door, they wanted to give me great, big hugs and say goodbye. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit and look forward to greeting other children who are as excited as Troop #3177 in promoting kindness and putting an end to bullying!