Keep Calm and Carry On

Seems like I just picked my theme for Miss Oklahoma life this year! The past few weeks have been something else, to say the least. Last Saturday, I graduated from the University of Oklahoma, moved out of Norman, and somehow brought a small village’s worth of stuff to Shawnee. I’ll be back at home until Miss O, and directly after the pageant I will hop on a plane to Phoenix, where Teach For America institute is held. I found out Tuesday that I will be teaching at the Community Action Project, an early childhood type center in Tulsa. This means I’ll have teeny tiny ones, 4-5 years old! I will be in Phoenix until July 16th, when I’ll drive home and begin training for CAP July 18th. No summer for Miss Sooner State! I also met Kimberly and her mom in Tulsa to apartment shop on Monday, so to say the least – I’ve been a busy graduate!

Tomorrow I have another school assembly and later meet with Brian. Saturday I take my teaching exam in the afternoon, then a wedding Saturday evening (not to mention the Thunder game!), and Sunday I’m meeting with my choreographer again. I also have an estimated 30 hours of Teach For America homework to do in the next week, on top of working out, dancing, and preparing to be thrown into the real world. YIKES! 

Yesterday, Rep. Pittman’s anti-bullying bill failed to pass. The final vote was 44-52, incredibly close numbers. Though the bill did not pass, I know Rep. Pittman, Kirk Smalley, and others who have a passion to see the end of this hideous cycle will not stop seeking out schools, civic groups and lawmakers until something changes. If nothing else, I am more determined to visit an even greater number of Oklahomans to spread my message about relational aggression. Rep. Pittman intends to make a plea to State Superintendent, Janet Barresi, to join the cause against anti-bullying and help amend rules which are currently in place.

After yesterday’s photoshoot, I went to pick up my evening gown. I’ve been so excited for months, anxiously awaiting the day my gown would be in my hands. Unfortunately what arrived was not what was ordered, by no fault of the store itself. Somehow the factory had misinterpreted the designs sent and what came back was simply not my gown. This is not the first place Keep Calm and Carry On is necessary (nor the last I’m sure), but I find the words much more comforting after my moments of sheer panic. The poster was introduced by the British government in 1939, at the height of WWII. It was intended to raise morale in the event of an invasion. I’m putting a huge poster of this in my classroom, Miss O dorm room, and probably my future apartment in Tulsa. 

Miss Oklahoma is just a few short weeks away and today I am gownless. I have not decided what to do just yet, but I know that by remaining calm and thinking through it, God will provide an answer. I’m a huge believer in “everything happens for a reason,” and the good Lord would not give me more than I am capable of handling. This is just one more obstacle which I will overcome while gladly accepting the challenges which are ahead. At the end of the day, this is not the end of the world, just a bump in the road.

The News

Below is the article I spoke about previously. We have to keep pushing for more media coverage of anti-bullying work or these tragedies will continue to occur! Thanks to the Bixby Bulletin for running this news release!

Stand Up, Speak Out

This morning was another early one for Miss Sooner State! I had the honor of being invited to attend the Youth Speak Out on bullying today at the state capitol, hosted by Rep. Anastasia Pittman. She is just exuberant and filled with drive. Rep. Pittman is currently working to pass HB 1461, which would target bullying in schools. Oklahoma, and the nation for that matter, is in dire need of bullying legislation. While our educators have some control, they cannot eradicate relational aggression in schools without the help of legislation.

I arrived at the capitol around 8:30 am and met several students from Longfellow Middle School (in Norman) and others from Claremore, Asher and Del City. Students were lining the rotunda of the Senate chambers and filled the room. We began after 9 am with Rep. Pittman introducing the event along with asking for a moment of silence for those who have lost their lives due to bullying. Rep. Pittman’s daughter, Ayshia, also spoke as a Youth Leader of America and how her organization has shifted its focus to bullying. Kirk Smalley then facilitated most of the session.

If his name sounds familiar, you may recognize Kirk Smalley from Stand For the Silent, an organization created after Kirk’s son, Ty, committed suicide after being bullied relentlessly.  Kirk travels to schools across the state to speak about bullying and spread a message of love – that you are somebody. Kirk helped several students share their testimonies, poems and words with those who attended the Youth Speak Out. Many offered stories about being the bully, how it happened and what they are now doing to stop others. Some read essays they had written with statistics on bullying, suicide and depression. Everyone spoke about being a victim and what they endured. Students would often break down in tears, to which the entire room would cheer them on and hold up the sign for “love.”

Teachers also spoke about what their own schools are doing to combat bullying and one mother gave a horrifying testimony of the beating her daughter endured and her inability to attend a public school, play a sport or go to a dance anymore. It was a very emotional morning, but extremely positive to see how many people cared to begin setting change into motion. At one point, I was pulled to the side and videotaped in order to provide commentary and additional information about my platform and the event to news sources. Afterwards, I came back inside to share my own stories. I explained about my program which focuses on one aspect of bullying – relational aggression and how I have also been the bully, victim and bystander. After hearing their stories, which are much fresher than my own experiences, I offered insight as to what kind of torment I went through. I told the room about having chairs pulled out from under me in a lunch room, having rumors spread, and becoming a victim to cyber-bullying through AIM fake screen name attacks. Even at 22 years old, I have been made fun of for not having clear skin. I knew the entire room could relate to my examples, since many had shared similar tales.

As recently as six years ago, I felt as though I was one of the few who had noticed and understood relational aggression, and one of even fewer who was speaking to groups about it. I worked with a local organization to visit middle school classrooms in order to continue spreading what I had learned from the Ophelia Project. Seeing the hundreds of students, parents and educators who showed up today was absolutely awe-inspiring. To know that there are that many students in our state who care makes me believe in the future of Oklahoma. With the support I witnessed today, I believe that not only can bullying be suppressed, but it will be. Something that is important to remember though, is that while Kirk Smalley or I can visit classrooms and create excitement about eliminating bullying, more must be done to protect our children. This is why we were at the capitol.

After I spoke, the speak out was concluded and Rep. Pittman and I gathered with several student groups for pictures. Soon we will be setting up another meeting to work further against bullying and continue pushing for HB 1461 to go through. While there, I also met a man who attended the Ophelia Project Summit in Shawnee with me! There were well over a thousand in attendance, and I wish more than anything that we could find the funding to bring back the speakers. I also ran into a representative who was so interested in relational aggression after hearing my testimony, that he googled it for more information. He, like many others, related it to the movie Mean Girls, and was surprised when I told him that it is just as common in the business workplace and that even 3 year olds utilize relational aggression. Being able to speak one-on-one with legislators is a wonderful way to further educate our elected officials and help them understand just how important the bullying bill is to our school system and students.

Yesterday, I made the trip to every elementary and middle school in Norman to meet with principals and offer my platform’s program. There was a lot of interest so I should be speaking to several classrooms and at school assemblies soon. Please let me know if you have a class or know a teacher/principal who would appreciate a concise program presented by Miss Sooner State about relational aggression!