Girl Scouts Troop #748

Sunday afternoon is my absolute favorite time of the week, and today I was fortunate to spend it with the Girl Scouts of Troop #748! The troop consists of girls between fourth and sixth grade, each attending a variety of school from Salk Elementary to Catoosa and Owasso. They are a great group and each shared their own experience with relational aggression. I enjoyed having such an intimate, small-group conversation with them – allowing us to dig more deeply into bullying.

While relational aggression covers a broad spectrum of possibilities, we were able to discuss name-calling, teacher and school responses, gossip, school uniforms, and how poverty can be a target of RA. Since I teach in an inner-city school, I often forget what a normal school with a range of financial situations looks and feels like. I need to remember this since my students could face similar obstacles in the future. Teach For America has helped train me to be the kind of teacher which will teach my kids out of low-income status and help put them onto a new life trajectory though – changing the cycle of poverty.

Troop #748 is planning to perform skits about bullying in April at Salk Elementary, and practiced their physical aggression skit with me today! I was really impressed by the thought and realistic approach they took to it, and was so honored when they asked for my help with a verbal aggression skit. We came up with several ideas, and I think each grade will be able to relate to the final script created.

This group has wonderful mothers who are prepared to help their children through any stage of bullying – whether it is as a target, bully or bystander. So often, we are unable to see our children’s faults and believe only the best. The women I met today are prepared to lead them in the right direction and teach them, rather than allow them to make the same mistakes throughout life.

Thank you so much, Troop #748! I cannot wait to see your skits and the impact you make throughout Tulsa!

Newcastle Middle School

Today was a really fun day! I’ve been so fortunate to team up with Janet, who works with the Girl Scouts. We worked together to combine my program with one of hers and it was awesome! The 6th, 7th and 8th grade girls of Newcastle were one of the best crowds yet. I’m always a bit concerned when speaking to older students, especially since I’ve met some sassy 5th grade groups, but the girls were intrigued and could relate to me so easily. My bullying experience peaked in middle school, and I can still feel the pain of being in a middle school cafeteria.

During Janet’s portion, she asked the girls to name a time they were hurt and then everyone would fold up the paper heart which was provided. Girls raised their hands with instances where they were called horrible names, left out or rejected. It hit home with one raised her hand and said she was called “pimple face.” Many know that I have struggled with acne for years, have tried nearly every medication, face wash, and even went to an Iridologist once. Even in recent months, my poor skin has been the point of teasing – and years later it is just as hurtful as it was in middle school.

As I began, I told the 200 excited young girls about my experiences with bullying – from being the victim to becoming a bully and a bystander. Their reactions and responses to my questions were right on par! These girls are smart to say the least. I was most impressed by their positivity. Occasionally, I will get a few smart-alecky kids (often the ones who need my program the most), but I did not have one negative comment or mean look. I haven’t had many students who react in such a way, but I expected it from middle school girls. I was thrilled that they took my message and ways to stop bullying to heart.

After the presentations, I fielded a great number of questions about bullying, what I have learned, and how to handle relational aggression. Normally, students are most interested in the pageant or my “favorite things,” but these girls meant business! They also wanted me to autograph their hearts, bullying bracelets and notebooks. I also signed three shoes – not my sole request (couldn’t resist), but the first time I’ve added my “autograph” to a shoe! I was also given a poem about friendship and what it can do against bullying. This sweet gift has been one of the highlights of my platform experience and I am thrilled to share!

“Friends are there to heal the wound

to pull you out of saddened tunes

to brighten up your cloudy skies

to clear up fictitious lies.

Friends are there with open arms

to comfort you and block the harms

to keep your secrets hidden away

and entertain when you want to play.

Friends are there, smile or tear

Friends are there, happiness or fear

Friends are fun and friends are clever

and the ties that bind friends will last forever.”

By Casey Ball

I could not have had a better day in Newcastle! I sincerely hope that these girls will continue wearing their bracelets and remember what they learned during my visit. Being able to share my stories and knowledge to make a positive impact is exactly what God intended for me to do. One of my purposes in life is to be the mentor and friend children and teenagers can look to for guidance. I’m not sure if serving the state as Miss Oklahoma or nationwide as Miss America is in the greater plan for me, but I will absolutely never, ever stop working against relational aggression.