A Green Day in PreK

You may or may not know, but I am a PreKindergarten teacher placed at a Headstart by Teach For America. I am truly lucky to have a site director who is supportive of the Miss Oklahoma organization and allowed me to take a bit of time from teaching and visit a few of the classrooms!

I altered my platform program to focus on character, goal setting and bullying. My green jeans were all the rage – and helped them remember my extremely long princess name of “Miss Green Country.” The three and four-year-olds were awesome and I was thrilled to chat with a few of my potential students for the upcoming year!

Quotes of the day

“Do you ride a unicorn to school?”

“Where are your high heels?”

“How could we be nice and helpful?” “You need to get a boy to kiss you!”

Powered Up!

The Girl Scouts have a fantastic anti-bullying program called “Powered Up,” and I was invited to work with several Tulsa and Muskogee troops during their week-long day camp. I have often been told that this curriculum is aligned perfectly with my platform presentation and I was amazed at the similarities! I spoke in the morning and later helped lead the initial Powered Up training.

The day-camp was held at the Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma house, built right in the middle of town with several acres behind it. I was even able to witness a flag ceremony – such a neat experience for these third and fourth graders! The kitchen was painted with Girl Scout words, and Girl Scout curtains flocked the large room. It is reserved for official Girl Scout meetings and used for a number of things. I was honored to attend and work with Powered Up! Thanks to the Girl Scouts for a fantastic day and my great new Powered Up shirt!!

Girl Scouts of McAlester

Being Miss Green Country has invited so many opportunities to travel through the most beautiful parts of our state. Eastern Oklahoma is just gorgeous, particularly in the early morning when the roads are quiet and the sky is filled with the clearest shade of blue. I came home to Shawnee Friday, setting off to McAlester Saturday morning to meet with the Girl Scouts.

An hour and a half of John Mayer’s live album kept me company as I pulled up to Life Church in McAlester. What an amazing church! I was told they recently added a second phase because the town of 17,000 just kept joining. The room I spoke in was the “Club 56” for 5th and 6th grade students, and even had light effects!

The Girl Scouts were fantastic! They had a busy day planned after I left with a father-daughter dance, hence the adorable dress! Each had some experience with relational aggression and stories to share as well. One mother also told of a time when she felt RA at the hands of a child.

While hosting a birthday party, one of her son’s friends said he wish he had known what their house had looked like because he wouldn’t have come to his birthday party. Her son then told his mother that they needed to get a bigger, nicer house. How horribly devastating that there was absolutely nothing wrong with their home, yet this young child still, possibly unbeknownst to him, degraded and embarrassed a kind family who was trying to celebrate a big event.

Relational aggression doesn’t just hurt children when they are targeted, but their parents feel the pain in their hearts as well. When I hear of stories like hers, I feel so blessed to speak with troops and schools across the state. When I was growing up, the term “relational aggression” had yet to be coined, and I do not remember any special visitors who spoke about bullying. It is an incredible honor to touch so may lives in the way my title has allowed!

Thank you, McAlester Girl Scouts, for welcoming me and recognizing the power you have against relational aggression!

Girl Scouts of Jenks

With three troop presentations in one week again, I felt like I really was living the life of Miss Oklahoma! I met a Jenks Intermediate Middle School troop on Thursday, April 19th. Bless them for welcoming me post-gym work out, and being so receptive to my program!

The girls had many stories of experiencing relational aggression personally, and what their school does to stop bullying as well. One thing I have heard from a few students is the idea of a “bullying box.” Some schools create a box with slips of paper to identify who was exhibiting bullying behavior and the person who was reporting the incident. Why couldn’t it be anonymous? Because sometimes anonymity provides the opportunity to intentionally “tattle” as opposed to “telling,” which is necessary when someone is being hurt physically or emotionally by another.

A few felt the bullying box was not effective, while others thought it worked as well as it could. Many schools do not take relational aggression seriously, which is why we hear about anorexia, drug and alcohol abuse, and teen suicides. I am glad to hear Jenks is taking a stand against bullying, but know that this troop in particular is armed with the knowledge and backbone to stand up for themselves and others when bullying arises.

A few of the fantastic troop members!

One troop member shared a story which I could completely relate to. She was at school the other day when two friends began whispering. Asking what they were talking about, they said “nothing – it’s a secret.” She began to wonder why it could not be shared with her, until she realized – it might be a secret about her. I cannot count the number of times this happened in middle school. Relational aggression right into the open, feeling like a knife in your heart as you deflate immediately.

Another troop member asked me what my biggest mistake was as a target of bullying. As I dwelled on it, I realized that my greatest regret was not telling someone what was happening. With bullying as such a constant in the media now, life is different. Ten and fifteen years ago, bullying was nothing more than a physical offense which left a real bruise. Every day, I got in the car and my mom asked me how my day went – “fine,” I responded. Never would I provide more information, because the girls who were leaving me out, making fun of me, and coming up with names to call me were the ones I had grown up with my whole life – whose parents my parents were friends with. Surely, I thought, this would go away, but keeping it inside was not the answer.

I was so impressed with the quality of thought put into our conversation and it really made me dig deep – back to the days when every day was a struggle and I feared every social aspect of live, including school. Thank you to the Jenks Girl Scouts for inviting me and bringing forth such a thought provoking conversation!

Girl Scout Troop #649

Of all the amazing things which come from being Miss Green Country, sharing my platform is by far, my favorite! On April 16th I met with the Girl Scouts of Metro Christian – Troop #649. They are a group of fourth-grade girls who were following my presentation so perfectly – with thoughtful insight and a yearning for positive change.

I had a wonderful time visiting Metro Christian and enjoyed every question they had. From asking about my most shocking experience with bullying to how I keep my high heels on – we covered it all! Troop #649 is truly so fortunate to have great troop leaders who recognize the need for this type of program and maintain a close eye on their member’s relationships.

One member stayed to chat as the girls transitioned to craft activities and said she wanted to be just like me. My heart absolutely melted. It is always so special to meet someone who is struggling in many of the ways I have and who is searching for some sort of hope. I was so flattered by her honesty and really enjoyed talking about our experiences with relational aggression together.

This sweet troop also gifted two delicious boxes of Girl Scout cookies (those amazingly decadent Thin Mints and a box of peanut butter delight – Do-Si-Dos!) – which will be such a treat. Good thing Thin Mints are even better frozen! Several girls also said they will attend Miss O in June – how cool is that?! Thank you Troop #649 for a wonderful afternoon and such excitement about  working against relational aggression! I absolutely loved meeting each one of you!

Girl Scouts of Muskogee

On Friday morning, I woke up sicker than I have been in quite some time. I even had to take the day off of school! After spending the entire day in bed, I wasn’t sure how I would make it to the Girl Scouts of Muskogee on Saturday morning – but I did know I would find a way to power through!

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a bit better – but definitely not great. I was so weak from a lack of nutrients, that I had to ask a neighbor to help carry my bag down. Yikes. As I began the hour-long drive, I realized I had passed Muskogee and we were a bit beyond Ft. Gibson. A Girl Scout troop leader met me at a gas station, and I followed her about 12 miles down a winding road, filled with the greenest of trees. I wonder how Green Country got its name….

 

We eventually turned down a dirt road, which continued for a few more miles, and led us to the Girl Scout camp grounds. These girls take camping seriously!!! The camp grounds had several cabins and sat near a lake, surrounded by lush forest. I even saw deer roaming when I drove in! (Though, my home has a deer feeder in the front yard, so I suppose I come from somewhat of a rural area of Oklahoma!) The troops came from Muskogee, Tahlequah, and surrounding towns – just to hear me speak! The middle school students were a bit shy at first, but warmed up quickly by providing answers and asking incredibly thoughtful questions.

Speaking with these troops, we had an amazing conversation about the bully circle and what roles we have experienced, with examples. Towards the end of my presentation, many girls had questions and I encouraged other troop members to think back on our discussion and see if they could problem solve a few solutions or responses. It was amazing to see them work issues out on their own with the feedback I had given.

Gifts galore of sweet treats!

The troops were so kind to invite me to speak (they even created a flyer to advertise it!!!), and gave me the sweetest gift as I left! I now own a Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma bag to travel with, and it was filled with Girl Scout cookies (yum!), another bag, notepads, pens, a 100 Years of Girl Scouts bracelet, and much, much more! Thank you, Girl Scouts of Muskogee and Eastern Oklahoma, for sharing a wonderful afternoon with me! It is a trip I will not soon forget!!

Swimsuit ready for Miss O!

*On the way back to Shawnee (a good three hours!), I saw a Jeep with a Chi Omega sticker (how funny – just like my friend Kristin‘s – who lives in Nashville!). Wow, it even has an Indiana license plate like Kristin’s! What are the odds?! As I drove past the Jeep, I realized…IT IS KRISTIN!

Kristin dances with Nashville ballet and we became the best of friends as sorority presidents at OU. We both took the next exit and I was SO SO SO excited to chat with her and give her a great big hug! I knew she was coming to Oklahoma and that we would not get a chance to see each other. What are the odds that she and I would be driving from Ft. Gibson and Nashville, at the exact same time, on I-40? Fated friends. Here we are:

Brownie Troop #64

With each group I visit, I am always able to take something away. I learn about their view on relational aggression, their experiences, how it has changed them, how they feel, what impact they believe can be made…the list goes on and on! This particular troop, located in Owasso, gave me something incredibly thoughtful and special.

I met Troop #64 on Tuesday, March 13th – an exciting day for one of their troop members – Marina’s ninth birthday! Marina’s mom found my blog and invited me to speak with their troop. How amazing is that?! Little did I know what an amazing communication tool this blog would be when I began last year.

Troop #64

The troop of 2nd and 3rd graders were absolutely exuberant! Not only were they so intelligent, but insightful and reflective as I spoke with them. They told stories I could also relate to, particularly having a friend who did not invite you to their birthday party (though everyone else came back with loads of favors to school – further deepening the wound), because they could only invite eight girls and you were tenth on the list.

Having an inclusive personality, it still stings to think about the situation (which happened more than once). What is more unbelievable? Knowing that these girls are more than ten years younger than me, and the same scenarios are still playing out. Another troop member recalled being a bystander for a special needs student at school, and I could feel her bravery in standing up for a boy who did not possess the words to stop the aggressor himself. Remembering myself at her age, I knew I would not have had the courage for fear of becoming the victim. Proof that the Girl Scouts of the United States are instilling the most imperative of values in Oklahoma’s youth.

After I spoke to the girls, they gave me THE most amazing surprise! I was presented with a huge crate of books and puzzles for my classroom. Teaching in a  low-income area, I have no books outside of the ones my (fortunately very experienced!) co-teacher possesses. Eric Carle, Fancy Nancy, hard-back books, and wooden puzzles – like glitter to my teacher’s soul! I am so very grateful for their contribution and my students were SO excited to see new, bright, colorful books on our shelves this morning. THANK YOU Troop #64! It was such an amazing and kind gift.

We later celebrated Marina’s (she’s also an Oklahoma Star) birthday with cupcakes (I still have three months – plenty of time to celebrate with a sweet treat!), slap bracelets and green (yay!) necklaces. The girls asked me to autograph their glow-in-the-dark bracelets, slap bracelets, cups, you name it! That night, I was not the only role model in the room – but the small group of Owasso Brownies who portrayed selflessness and service to my students.

Thank you again, Troop #64!

Full Hearts and Sticky Hands

IHOP is a great supporter of Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, raising funds throughout the month of February for Miss America’s national platform. I was fortunate enough to volunteer on Saturday, February 11th at my hometown (Shawnee) IHOP for this wonderful cause. Though it was eleven degrees outside, the IHOP held a scent of warm pancakes and big hearts – ready to serve the children of Oklahoma!

People are my passion and I was so very excited to spend the chilly morning with the friendliest, kindest folks of small town Oklahoma. I met tiny people and big people – many in PreKindergarten. We obviously had a lot in common since I teach PreK! I debated the Thunder’s season with a kindergartener and 1st grader, hearing about their love for Kevin Durant and telling them why I adore James Harden. There was a three-year-old who burst into tears when she saw me across the room and refused to calm down until she could meet the “princess.” I made new friends in Kayla, Zoe, Caitlin, and several other kids who wanted to help other kids. One man told me that I didn’t look old enough to compete for Miss America – guess it’s time to look my age! Haha, how many people are trying to look older at the age of 22?! I know I say it a lot, but this job really is one of the greatest in the world.

I met not one, but TWO Miracle Kids – Maddie and Jayse. Maddie often travels to the Oklahoma City Children’s Hospital due to diabetes. She was dressed to the nines – fur boots, pink bag, long coat, and definitely ready to take on whatever came her way!

Jayse is from St.Louis, Oklahoma and helped me raise funds for CMN today. We sold paper balloons and glow-in-the-dark bracelets – nearly selling out completely! Jayse has PKU,  phenylketonuria. People with PKU are missing an enzyme called phenylalanine hydroxylase, which is needed to break down an essential amino acid called phenylalanine. The substance is found in foods that contain protein. (This was obviously googled so I would be able to explain it better!) Jayse cannot eat protein, making his condition difficult, yet manageable by diagnosing it early and with the right diet. He is a vegan, meaning he does not eat any byproduct of animals. While Jayse and his mom make this sound fairly easy, I am still completely amazed at his positivity and ability to live with PKU, yet still feel like he has a pretty normal childhood.

The commonality between Maddie and Jayse is their outlook. Jayse’s mom said that while PKU is not always easy, there are a lot of others who have much more serious circumstances. These kids are both full of joy and passion for life. Their optimistic attitudes put our own daily struggles into perspective. I do not have diabetes or PKU – and neither of these Miracle Kids are the type of person to complain, just because their day is a bit more unique. Looking at what they must face – needles and constant checking of life-changing food ingredients – things like traffic and work issues are not important, or even comparative. These two really are Miracle Kids and we could all learn from their example of a positive life.

Girl Scouts Troop #748

Sunday afternoon is my absolute favorite time of the week, and today I was fortunate to spend it with the Girl Scouts of Troop #748! The troop consists of girls between fourth and sixth grade, each attending a variety of school from Salk Elementary to Catoosa and Owasso. They are a great group and each shared their own experience with relational aggression. I enjoyed having such an intimate, small-group conversation with them – allowing us to dig more deeply into bullying.

While relational aggression covers a broad spectrum of possibilities, we were able to discuss name-calling, teacher and school responses, gossip, school uniforms, and how poverty can be a target of RA. Since I teach in an inner-city school, I often forget what a normal school with a range of financial situations looks and feels like. I need to remember this since my students could face similar obstacles in the future. Teach For America has helped train me to be the kind of teacher which will teach my kids out of low-income status and help put them onto a new life trajectory though – changing the cycle of poverty.

Troop #748 is planning to perform skits about bullying in April at Salk Elementary, and practiced their physical aggression skit with me today! I was really impressed by the thought and realistic approach they took to it, and was so honored when they asked for my help with a verbal aggression skit. We came up with several ideas, and I think each grade will be able to relate to the final script created.

This group has wonderful mothers who are prepared to help their children through any stage of bullying – whether it is as a target, bully or bystander. So often, we are unable to see our children’s faults and believe only the best. The women I met today are prepared to lead them in the right direction and teach them, rather than allow them to make the same mistakes throughout life.

Thank you so much, Troop #748! I cannot wait to see your skits and the impact you make throughout Tulsa!

Three Times the Fun – Troop #753, #1030 and #960

After a full day of teaching, a staff meeting, and a curriculum meeting I threw on a fresh blazer and pinned my crown into my hair. As I was racing out of the school to my car, another teacher stopped me to comment on how literally I must take the idea of “wearing multiple hats.”

She hit the nail on the head! I love the diversity of my days because there is never a dull moment. Maybe I have to keep a spare outfit in my car (I can’t even begin to explain the possibilities of what might happen to me during school), but this is the life of Miss Oklahoma and Miss America. There is no down time and you absolutely must be prepared for whatever might come your way!

Girl Scouts and Miss Green Country

Wednesday, January 25th held my second appearance of three in a mere seven days. I am overjoyed by the responses to It Has A Name: Relational Aggression, and the interest taken by each student group. Brownie Girl Scout troop #753 and Girl Scout troops #1030 and #960 were no exception! This group consisted of about 20 third, fourth and fifth grade girls – each at a point in their lives where relational aggression is starting to become more noticeable and confusing.

Each had brilliant thoughts about why relational aggression occurs and how a bully gets to that point. They loved our telephone game and giggled excitedly at the difference between the original sentence and the final words. Their concerns varied, and I received excellent questions about followers and gossip. Several had stories about being the target or bystander, and it never fails to hurt my heart when I hear about such wonderful young leaders being the point of a joke.

With every student group I speak to, I gain an even deeper understanding of my own experiences as well. There are so many occurrences they are brave enough to speak about, reminding me of my own childhood. It is with this that I have realized time, fashion, and technology have changed – but relational aggression has not.

These sweet angels decorated a chalk board in preparation for my visit (it was adorable!!!), and gave me a lovely card along with GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! The new Savannah Smiles are a delicious lemon cookie dipped in powdered sugar, and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t have that box opened the minute I go to the car.

Thank you SO much, Troop #753, #1030 and #960! What a joy to speak with!