It’s Only Just Begun

I am all moved in at the ORU dorms and ready for the week ahead! We began the morning with orientation and many, many hours of rehearsals. Wendy’s is so kind to donate a delicious lunch for the contestants and I always love seeing the owner’s daughter dressed up like Wendy! She’s a doll – really!

Though Kent has bronchitis, that certainly didn’t slow him down! We learned more dances than I can currently remember, but just be prepared for an amazing show. The atmosphere with the contestants has been very relaxed here and I see the Lord working through so many young women. It’s almost surreal to think that a week from tonight a new Miss Oklahoma will be crowned!

When we arrived to the dorms, I immediately checked out which red coat and contestants I would be driving with, and nearly squealed in excitement to be in ELIZABETH KINNEY’S mom’s car! Elizabeth is the first Miss Oklahoma I ever saw crowned and I fell in love with her on that stage. She is dynamite and I admire her more than words can express. Her mom, Melinda, is such a joy to be around – you’ve got to meet this woman!! I also found out she is from Shawnee and went to high school with my dad! what a small world. Lindsey Allen and I are in for a real treat with her!

After seeing our rooms (I cannot wait to post more pictures of my Come Rain or Come Shine themed room!), we ate and headed off to the Red Carpet premiere. I love this event because it is an opportunity to destress with family and friends before competition gets underway.

After walking the red carpet, we were corralled to a room and I was later told that when Rich came in, I needed to follow him. Thinking I needed to gather others and make room for the end of the alphabetical procession, I started herding… Someone told me to stop and I followed Rich, thinking we were just moving the miss contestants alphabetically.

As I was walking with Alex Eppler, Megan Johnson, Alicia Clifton, Brittany Bisel and Georgia Frazier I realized we were not in the right order. As I was about to pipe up, I realized the most exciting news possible – WE WERE COMMUNITY SERVICE FINALISTS!!!!!

I must have lit up like a Christmas tree and haven’t stopped glowing since! It is the highest honor to be considered for an award of this caliber and I feel blessed to be part of this group. Our interviews are in the morning and I cannot wait to share my passion with the Kiwanians.

Thank you to the Girl Scouts, school groups, and community leaders who have taken relational aggression seriously and have shared this journey with me! You are the reason I live to serve and I already feel so accomplished after the progress we have made together.

Have a wonderful evening and on to day two!!

A Green Day in PreK

You may or may not know, but I am a PreKindergarten teacher placed at a Headstart by Teach For America. I am truly lucky to have a site director who is supportive of the Miss Oklahoma organization and allowed me to take a bit of time from teaching and visit a few of the classrooms!

I altered my platform program to focus on character, goal setting and bullying. My green jeans were all the rage – and helped them remember my extremely long princess name of “Miss Green Country.” The three and four-year-olds were awesome and I was thrilled to chat with a few of my potential students for the upcoming year!

Quotes of the day

“Do you ride a unicorn to school?”

“Where are your high heels?”

“How could we be nice and helpful?” “You need to get a boy to kiss you!”

Powered Up!

The Girl Scouts have a fantastic anti-bullying program called “Powered Up,” and I was invited to work with several Tulsa and Muskogee troops during their week-long day camp. I have often been told that this curriculum is aligned perfectly with my platform presentation and I was amazed at the similarities! I spoke in the morning and later helped lead the initial Powered Up training.

The day-camp was held at the Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma house, built right in the middle of town with several acres behind it. I was even able to witness a flag ceremony – such a neat experience for these third and fourth graders! The kitchen was painted with Girl Scout words, and Girl Scout curtains flocked the large room. It is reserved for official Girl Scout meetings and used for a number of things. I was honored to attend and work with Powered Up! Thanks to the Girl Scouts for a fantastic day and my great new Powered Up shirt!!

Girl Scouts of McAlester

Being Miss Green Country has invited so many opportunities to travel through the most beautiful parts of our state. Eastern Oklahoma is just gorgeous, particularly in the early morning when the roads are quiet and the sky is filled with the clearest shade of blue. I came home to Shawnee Friday, setting off to McAlester Saturday morning to meet with the Girl Scouts.

An hour and a half of John Mayer’s live album kept me company as I pulled up to Life Church in McAlester. What an amazing church! I was told they recently added a second phase because the town of 17,000 just kept joining. The room I spoke in was the “Club 56” for 5th and 6th grade students, and even had light effects!

The Girl Scouts were fantastic! They had a busy day planned after I left with a father-daughter dance, hence the adorable dress! Each had some experience with relational aggression and stories to share as well. One mother also told of a time when she felt RA at the hands of a child.

While hosting a birthday party, one of her son’s friends said he wish he had known what their house had looked like because he wouldn’t have come to his birthday party. Her son then told his mother that they needed to get a bigger, nicer house. How horribly devastating that there was absolutely nothing wrong with their home, yet this young child still, possibly unbeknownst to him, degraded and embarrassed a kind family who was trying to celebrate a big event.

Relational aggression doesn’t just hurt children when they are targeted, but their parents feel the pain in their hearts as well. When I hear of stories like hers, I feel so blessed to speak with troops and schools across the state. When I was growing up, the term “relational aggression” had yet to be coined, and I do not remember any special visitors who spoke about bullying. It is an incredible honor to touch so may lives in the way my title has allowed!

Thank you, McAlester Girl Scouts, for welcoming me and recognizing the power you have against relational aggression!

Girl Scouts of Jenks

With three troop presentations in one week again, I felt like I really was living the life of Miss Oklahoma! I met a Jenks Intermediate Middle School troop on Thursday, April 19th. Bless them for welcoming me post-gym work out, and being so receptive to my program!

The girls had many stories of experiencing relational aggression personally, and what their school does to stop bullying as well. One thing I have heard from a few students is the idea of a “bullying box.” Some schools create a box with slips of paper to identify who was exhibiting bullying behavior and the person who was reporting the incident. Why couldn’t it be anonymous? Because sometimes anonymity provides the opportunity to intentionally “tattle” as opposed to “telling,” which is necessary when someone is being hurt physically or emotionally by another.

A few felt the bullying box was not effective, while others thought it worked as well as it could. Many schools do not take relational aggression seriously, which is why we hear about anorexia, drug and alcohol abuse, and teen suicides. I am glad to hear Jenks is taking a stand against bullying, but know that this troop in particular is armed with the knowledge and backbone to stand up for themselves and others when bullying arises.

A few of the fantastic troop members!

One troop member shared a story which I could completely relate to. She was at school the other day when two friends began whispering. Asking what they were talking about, they said “nothing – it’s a secret.” She began to wonder why it could not be shared with her, until she realized – it might be a secret about her. I cannot count the number of times this happened in middle school. Relational aggression right into the open, feeling like a knife in your heart as you deflate immediately.

Another troop member asked me what my biggest mistake was as a target of bullying. As I dwelled on it, I realized that my greatest regret was not telling someone what was happening. With bullying as such a constant in the media now, life is different. Ten and fifteen years ago, bullying was nothing more than a physical offense which left a real bruise. Every day, I got in the car and my mom asked me how my day went – “fine,” I responded. Never would I provide more information, because the girls who were leaving me out, making fun of me, and coming up with names to call me were the ones I had grown up with my whole life – whose parents my parents were friends with. Surely, I thought, this would go away, but keeping it inside was not the answer.

I was so impressed with the quality of thought put into our conversation and it really made me dig deep – back to the days when every day was a struggle and I feared every social aspect of live, including school. Thank you to the Jenks Girl Scouts for inviting me and bringing forth such a thought provoking conversation!

Girl Scout Troop #649

Of all the amazing things which come from being Miss Green Country, sharing my platform is by far, my favorite! On April 16th I met with the Girl Scouts of Metro Christian – Troop #649. They are a group of fourth-grade girls who were following my presentation so perfectly – with thoughtful insight and a yearning for positive change.

I had a wonderful time visiting Metro Christian and enjoyed every question they had. From asking about my most shocking experience with bullying to how I keep my high heels on – we covered it all! Troop #649 is truly so fortunate to have great troop leaders who recognize the need for this type of program and maintain a close eye on their member’s relationships.

One member stayed to chat as the girls transitioned to craft activities and said she wanted to be just like me. My heart absolutely melted. It is always so special to meet someone who is struggling in many of the ways I have and who is searching for some sort of hope. I was so flattered by her honesty and really enjoyed talking about our experiences with relational aggression together.

This sweet troop also gifted two delicious boxes of Girl Scout cookies (those amazingly decadent Thin Mints and a box of peanut butter delight – Do-Si-Dos!) – which will be such a treat. Good thing Thin Mints are even better frozen! Several girls also said they will attend Miss O in June – how cool is that?! Thank you Troop #649 for a wonderful afternoon and such excitement about  working against relational aggression! I absolutely loved meeting each one of you!

Forty-Five

Here are the contestants for Miss Oklahoma 2012!

Brownie Troop #64

With each group I visit, I am always able to take something away. I learn about their view on relational aggression, their experiences, how it has changed them, how they feel, what impact they believe can be made…the list goes on and on! This particular troop, located in Owasso, gave me something incredibly thoughtful and special.

I met Troop #64 on Tuesday, March 13th – an exciting day for one of their troop members – Marina’s ninth birthday! Marina’s mom found my blog and invited me to speak with their troop. How amazing is that?! Little did I know what an amazing communication tool this blog would be when I began last year.

Troop #64

The troop of 2nd and 3rd graders were absolutely exuberant! Not only were they so intelligent, but insightful and reflective as I spoke with them. They told stories I could also relate to, particularly having a friend who did not invite you to their birthday party (though everyone else came back with loads of favors to school – further deepening the wound), because they could only invite eight girls and you were tenth on the list.

Having an inclusive personality, it still stings to think about the situation (which happened more than once). What is more unbelievable? Knowing that these girls are more than ten years younger than me, and the same scenarios are still playing out. Another troop member recalled being a bystander for a special needs student at school, and I could feel her bravery in standing up for a boy who did not possess the words to stop the aggressor himself. Remembering myself at her age, I knew I would not have had the courage for fear of becoming the victim. Proof that the Girl Scouts of the United States are instilling the most imperative of values in Oklahoma’s youth.

After I spoke to the girls, they gave me THE most amazing surprise! I was presented with a huge crate of books and puzzles for my classroom. Teaching in a  low-income area, I have no books outside of the ones my (fortunately very experienced!) co-teacher possesses. Eric Carle, Fancy Nancy, hard-back books, and wooden puzzles – like glitter to my teacher’s soul! I am so very grateful for their contribution and my students were SO excited to see new, bright, colorful books on our shelves this morning. THANK YOU Troop #64! It was such an amazing and kind gift.

We later celebrated Marina’s (she’s also an Oklahoma Star) birthday with cupcakes (I still have three months – plenty of time to celebrate with a sweet treat!), slap bracelets and green (yay!) necklaces. The girls asked me to autograph their glow-in-the-dark bracelets, slap bracelets, cups, you name it! That night, I was not the only role model in the room – but the small group of Owasso Brownies who portrayed selflessness and service to my students.

Thank you again, Troop #64!

Girl Scouts Troop #748

Sunday afternoon is my absolute favorite time of the week, and today I was fortunate to spend it with the Girl Scouts of Troop #748! The troop consists of girls between fourth and sixth grade, each attending a variety of school from Salk Elementary to Catoosa and Owasso. They are a great group and each shared their own experience with relational aggression. I enjoyed having such an intimate, small-group conversation with them – allowing us to dig more deeply into bullying.

While relational aggression covers a broad spectrum of possibilities, we were able to discuss name-calling, teacher and school responses, gossip, school uniforms, and how poverty can be a target of RA. Since I teach in an inner-city school, I often forget what a normal school with a range of financial situations looks and feels like. I need to remember this since my students could face similar obstacles in the future. Teach For America has helped train me to be the kind of teacher which will teach my kids out of low-income status and help put them onto a new life trajectory though – changing the cycle of poverty.

Troop #748 is planning to perform skits about bullying in April at Salk Elementary, and practiced their physical aggression skit with me today! I was really impressed by the thought and realistic approach they took to it, and was so honored when they asked for my help with a verbal aggression skit. We came up with several ideas, and I think each grade will be able to relate to the final script created.

This group has wonderful mothers who are prepared to help their children through any stage of bullying – whether it is as a target, bully or bystander. So often, we are unable to see our children’s faults and believe only the best. The women I met today are prepared to lead them in the right direction and teach them, rather than allow them to make the same mistakes throughout life.

Thank you so much, Troop #748! I cannot wait to see your skits and the impact you make throughout Tulsa!

THINK

Relational aggression can be tricky on occasion – particularly in terms of being the bully. It is so simple to slip into that role without even realizing it. This seems to happen not just for students, but adults as well. The effect of relational aggression cannot be erased, but we can make an effort to better ourselves and end bullying now. Before you speak, THINK…