At the Capitol

Thanks to the BA Ledger for a well written article, linked below! Yesterday was a fantastic rally and I was thrilled to be able to share that at some point in time, we have all experienced being a bully, victim or bystander. Victims typically bully others after they have been attacked and with the students, lawmakers and educators who united yesterday, I believe awareness of bullying has been heightened. Now it is important to continue the momentum in order to make our voices and actions count against relational aggression.

At the Capitol: Anti-bullying advocates rally in Senate chamber.

OKLAHOMA CITY – More than 1,000 anti-bullying advocates came out today in support of legislation that would address school bullying and cyberbullying.

            The ensemble of students, organizations and families advocating for House Bill 1461 met in the Senate Chamber, where testimonials were given by numerous individuals on the effects of bullying. The group included the parent teacher associations from around the state, the NAACP Youth Council, Top Teens of America, and Emerging Young Leaders of Alpha Kappa Alpha. The event was facilitated by Kirk Smalley, who is the father of the deceased 11-year-old victim of cyberbullying Ty Field, and coordinated by state Rep. Anastasia A. Pittman.

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            Smalley emphasized that the day was for those students in attendance who had been bullied to share their story. Pittman’s daughter, Ayshia, who is the 2nd Vice President of the Top Teens of America, gave the purpose of her national organization and how a local chapter has taken on bullying as a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

            Pittman said the rally gave students a chance to feel heard.

“Today is a wake up call to Oklahoma legislators that students are not only standing up for the silent, but they are also learning the process and the value of representative democracy,” Pittman, D-Oklahoma City, said. “We saved the lives of thousands of students across Oklahoma today by allowing them to feel like the bullying they face is being addressed. They should not have to balance threats and peer pressure to the point that they feel invisible or worthless.”

            House Bill 1461, by state Rep. Lee Denney, adds cyberbullying to current state laws that specify how schools should address bullying behavior. The legislation also adds law enforcement to the list of groups that should be involved in coming up with a school’s anti-bullying policy.

            “Oklahoma, we’ve got to do better,” Denney, R-Cushing, said. “Representative Pittman and I stand in solidarity that we need tougher laws to protect our children.”

            Steve Hahn, program coordinator for Family and Children Services, said the bill gives school administrators additional tools to combat bullying.

            “It gives schools and administrators and teachers some real depth in what they can do in pursuing cyberbullying either in or out of school, either inside or outside of school hours,” Hahn said. “With many of the administrators I’ve spoken to in the Northeast side of the state, it’s one of the No. 1 issues they’re facing today, cyberbullying and how it makes its way back into the classroom and how it really disrupts the school day.”

            State Sen. Sean Burrage recently received a constituent request to address the bullying of a child with Asperger’s syndrome who attends the same school as Truman Burrage, his son. Jared Henderson said because of his condition, he has received constant bullying.

            “People were calling me names and punching me, the worst one was ‘I wish you weren’t alive,’” Henderson said.

            Wayne Reid is the grandfather of a Millwood High School student who was bullied by adults through anonymous accounts on a website.

            “There’s a website called ok.coachesaid.com that allow adults to cyberbully,” Reid said. “We can’t have adults starting to say things like this to a 15-year-old child in any arena. I brought this to Representative Pittman to talk about this and bring it to light.”

            Miss Sooner State Britin Mills also shared her story.

            “I have been a victim and I have also been a bully,” Mills said. “I have had chairs pulled out from under me, I was made fun of for teen acne, I was crushed to the point that I had to switch schools and dance studios, but it didn’t end there. I lost all my self-confidence and I did not gain it back until I found a place to work against relational aggression and that was within the Miss American organization. Today’s youth speak out has been amazing.”

            Pittman was the author of a separate bill that would also address school bullying and cyberbullying. House Bill 1976 was known as the “Ty Field School Bullying Prevention Act.” She said it was important that House Bill 1461 include Ty Field’s name, as his father is a central part of the anti-bullying movement.

            “We are getting real momentum in the state and adding Ty Field’s name to the bill will help us continue to build momentum,” Pittman said. “We had this rally today to ensure that the voices of our youth are heard in making the request to Senator Halligan to add the name of Ty Field back on the bill.”

Former state Sen. Angela Monson, who currently chairs the Oklahoma City school board said bullying is an important issue to address.

“Today’s events are extraordinarily important to draw attention to a very significant issue in our communities,” Monson said. “It affects our families, it affects our entire communities, but most importantly it affects the lives of those individuals who are bullied.”

Stand Up, Speak Out

This morning was another early one for Miss Sooner State! I had the honor of being invited to attend the Youth Speak Out on bullying today at the state capitol, hosted by Rep. Anastasia Pittman. She is just exuberant and filled with drive. Rep. Pittman is currently working to pass HB 1461, which would target bullying in schools. Oklahoma, and the nation for that matter, is in dire need of bullying legislation. While our educators have some control, they cannot eradicate relational aggression in schools without the help of legislation.

I arrived at the capitol around 8:30 am and met several students from Longfellow Middle School (in Norman) and others from Claremore, Asher and Del City. Students were lining the rotunda of the Senate chambers and filled the room. We began after 9 am with Rep. Pittman introducing the event along with asking for a moment of silence for those who have lost their lives due to bullying. Rep. Pittman’s daughter, Ayshia, also spoke as a Youth Leader of America and how her organization has shifted its focus to bullying. Kirk Smalley then facilitated most of the session.

If his name sounds familiar, you may recognize Kirk Smalley from Stand For the Silent, an organization created after Kirk’s son, Ty, committed suicide after being bullied relentlessly.  Kirk travels to schools across the state to speak about bullying and spread a message of love – that you are somebody. Kirk helped several students share their testimonies, poems and words with those who attended the Youth Speak Out. Many offered stories about being the bully, how it happened and what they are now doing to stop others. Some read essays they had written with statistics on bullying, suicide and depression. Everyone spoke about being a victim and what they endured. Students would often break down in tears, to which the entire room would cheer them on and hold up the sign for “love.”

Teachers also spoke about what their own schools are doing to combat bullying and one mother gave a horrifying testimony of the beating her daughter endured and her inability to attend a public school, play a sport or go to a dance anymore. It was a very emotional morning, but extremely positive to see how many people cared to begin setting change into motion. At one point, I was pulled to the side and videotaped in order to provide commentary and additional information about my platform and the event to news sources. Afterwards, I came back inside to share my own stories. I explained about my program which focuses on one aspect of bullying – relational aggression and how I have also been the bully, victim and bystander. After hearing their stories, which are much fresher than my own experiences, I offered insight as to what kind of torment I went through. I told the room about having chairs pulled out from under me in a lunch room, having rumors spread, and becoming a victim to cyber-bullying through AIM fake screen name attacks. Even at 22 years old, I have been made fun of for not having clear skin. I knew the entire room could relate to my examples, since many had shared similar tales.

As recently as six years ago, I felt as though I was one of the few who had noticed and understood relational aggression, and one of even fewer who was speaking to groups about it. I worked with a local organization to visit middle school classrooms in order to continue spreading what I had learned from the Ophelia Project. Seeing the hundreds of students, parents and educators who showed up today was absolutely awe-inspiring. To know that there are that many students in our state who care makes me believe in the future of Oklahoma. With the support I witnessed today, I believe that not only can bullying be suppressed, but it will be. Something that is important to remember though, is that while Kirk Smalley or I can visit classrooms and create excitement about eliminating bullying, more must be done to protect our children. This is why we were at the capitol.

After I spoke, the speak out was concluded and Rep. Pittman and I gathered with several student groups for pictures. Soon we will be setting up another meeting to work further against bullying and continue pushing for HB 1461 to go through. While there, I also met a man who attended the Ophelia Project Summit in Shawnee with me! There were well over a thousand in attendance, and I wish more than anything that we could find the funding to bring back the speakers. I also ran into a representative who was so interested in relational aggression after hearing my testimony, that he googled it for more information. He, like many others, related it to the movie Mean Girls, and was surprised when I told him that it is just as common in the business workplace and that even 3 year olds utilize relational aggression. Being able to speak one-on-one with legislators is a wonderful way to further educate our elected officials and help them understand just how important the bullying bill is to our school system and students.

Yesterday, I made the trip to every elementary and middle school in Norman to meet with principals and offer my platform’s program. There was a lot of interest so I should be speaking to several classrooms and at school assemblies soon. Please let me know if you have a class or know a teacher/principal who would appreciate a concise program presented by Miss Sooner State about relational aggression!

Wings To Fly

Though it is only March 10th, this month has already been very busy! Last Friday I spent a great deal of time (9+ hours) with my fabulous hairdresser/make-up artist Larry Chowning and wonderful photographer, Leigh Thompson, to complete my headshots for Miss Oklahoma. We had so much fun and it was great to spend my “cheat day” eating cupcakes with them! I am beyond thrilled with how the pictures turned out and will be posting them as soon as the complete, cropped products are finished.

The photoshoot lasted late into the night and I made it back to Norman around 12:30 am. Normally, this wouldn’t have been any problem for a night owl like myself – but I intended to wake up at 4:45 am to prepare volunteering as Miss Sooner State. The Heartland Wings To Fly 5K/15K Miracle Run was held Saturday morning in El Reno. Being from an equally small town, I knew where El Reno was…sort of! It’s always been a big joke in my family that I could handle the responsibilities of Miss Oklahoma except one – navigation. Over time, I have learned to MapQuest my start and end points for an approximate length of time, and then leave 15-20 minutes earlier than the length it would take to complete the journey.

The run was set to begin at 7 am and I aimed to be early, therefore I left my house at 6 am. It was still dark outside! The wind whipped my little MINI all over the road, and I even called Talia AND Diane just to be sure I was taking the right exits and heading in the correct general direction. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve been lost a time or two! I finally made it to El Reno in one piece though. I had checked the weather before hand and it looked to be chilly so I wore jeans, boots, three shirts and a coat. Layered up, I headed to the volunteer center.

I was fortunate to spend the day with several friends including Miss Greater Oklahoma, Talia Berning and Miss Edmond Libertyfest, Damaris Pierce (who was crazy enough to run the 15K with half the layers I had on!), and my new teen queen friends Miss Oklahoma State Fair’s Outstanding Teen, Ashten Vincent,  and Miss Edmond Libertyfest’s Outstanding Teen, Clytee Burchett. Our job was to help runners who had not pre-registered sign up for the race. While there, we were fortunate to meet several supporters of Children’s Miracle Network and local officials, including the El Reno City Manager. After my dad served as Mayor of our hometown for four years, I have a huge respect for people who serve their towns and it was great to see the city supporting such a worthy cause.

The runners ranged from 10 years old to 60+! Though the weather was not on our side, the support poured in regardless. The temperature peaked at 29 degrees and the wind was easily 15-20 MPH – not ideal for an outdoors run (or when trying to keep the crown from flying off your head!). Historic Ft. Reno was perfect for the safety of our runners though, as it was secluded and held a long, straight 1.5 mile stretch of driveway, leading into the highway. To say we were all cold is an understatement. I could not feel my fingers, and my toes were also numb. BRRRR!

We volunteered from 7 am-9 am, and while I’m awful at numbers, there were definitely 75-100 runners! Though I was cold, the chill is nothing compared to what a child with a life-threatening disease faces. Not only did these runners wake up early on a Saturday morning, but they paid $25-$40 to run in freezing temperatures. All for one of the greatest causes which exists – to help Oklahoma’s sick children. At 9 am we relocated to the starting line to cheer on Damaris and the other runners. Later, I thawed out in the car and headed home to prepare for another event: the Red Tie Event benefitting HIV/AIDS in the search for a cure. I thought about it on my way home and perhaps next time I’ll be able to join the other supporters not only as a volunteer, but as a runner/walker! Wings To Fly was a fantastic success for CMN! There is nothing better than spending a morning volunteering for something you believe in.

National Pancake Day

On Tuesday, March 1st I celebrated National Pancake Day! As previously posted (A Syrupy Sweet Saturday), the Miss America Organization partners with IHOP to raise funds and awareness for Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals. On March 1st, IHOP offered a free short stack of pancakes to patrons, in exchange for a suggested donation to CMN. I know…how could I eat pancakes when they aren’t on my strategic food plan? That’s because I spent so much time working the event from 5-8 pm that I forgot to eat dinner! It could have been my “cheat day,” but I was so focused on selling the paper balloons and glow-in-the-dark bracelets that it slipped my mind until I got home.

First, let me just say that there is nothing which prepares you more for the job of Miss Oklahoma than actually going to various fundraisers/appearances (like IHOP) and talking to Oklahomans. I met a lot of people, and don’t worry – you’ll get to hear about several! You just never know what people will ask you or what they will say. (There’s a story for that too!) Everyone thinks you are Miss USA, Miss America or Miss Oklahoma when you have a crown on. Unfortunately, I am none of the above. Others will say “Hey! I saw you on tv at Miss USA!” As flattering as that is (it would be an honor to be mistaken for Miss Okahoma or Miss Oklahoma USA), I have to explain that while I hope they will see me on-screen in the future, that was another titleholder and not me! Communicating is one of my five strengths (Strength Finders) and one of the things I enjoy most about the job of Miss Sooner State. Last Tuesday was no exception!

On to the interesting people I met! When I first arrived at the Meridian IHOP, I was a bit worried since it was nearly empty! Luckily, the business was steady throughout the night and the donations to CMN kept pouring in! This is a new friend of mine! Tyler ( left) is from New York and was visiting his dad who is stationed at Fort Sill. His mom bought a bracelet and Tyler asked me to hang out while he finished his short stack of pancakes. He is in the third grade and is learning how to write in cursive. His mom had just flown back to Oklahoma to pick him up and take him back to Northern New York. He said he would be sure to watch for me on the Miss America stage. 🙂

This cute little thing on the right is Max. If I ever have a boy (Lord knows I wouldn’t know what to do with one!) I hope he is just like Max! He is in Kindergarten and his favorite part of school is snack time. I’ll have to remember that when I have a class next year! Max was in awe of the glow-in-the-dark bracelet his dad purchased for him and kept jumping under the table to see if it still worked. He asked me if we could have a sleepover at IHOP because he wanted to stay there forever! Haha, then he added that all he needed to get from home was his toothbrush (I’m sure his dentist loves him!). He was so sweet and had most definitely never met a stranger.

This is Honor and Mariah! They were at a huge table with their three brothers, parents and extended family. When I spoke with their dad, I found out that he works with Character Counts in Edmond – Miss Oklahoma, Emoly West’s platform! He was very familiar with the Miss Oklahoma Organization and inquired about my own platform, what I do with it, my talent, and how I became involved with the system. These girls were very fun and were in a race to finish their dinner! Honor really wanted to show off her pretty smile here!! CHEESE!

The last two customers I took a picture with were Ty and his sister Danielle. This brother and sister were with their mom and I was able to spend a lot of time getting to know them. She is 8 and he is 4, another Pre-K kid! When I asked Ty what his favorite part of school was, he said playing on the playground. I asked him what made a teacher “cool” since I’ll be teaching this Fall and wanted to win over my students. He said the playground was his favorite part of the day and if his teacher played on the playground she would be really cool. He was fairly confused as to why I had a crown on my head, but I explained how I won the title and Danielle had a question for me. “Are you in beauty pageants?” she asked. “No, I compete in scholarship pageants,” I said. “Do you want me to explain how a scholarship pageant works?” Her mom jumped in and told her that I won a lot of money, but it was all to pay for school. “Oh,” Danielle said. “I know the difference.” Her mom and I watched as Danielle then added, very matter of factly, “Beauty pageants are where they show their assets.” Needless to say, “assets” was not Danielle’s word of choice! Her mom couldn’t decide if it was humorous or horrifying! Haha, I made sure to explain that televised pageants do not consist of any portion which allows a contestant to show more than necessary. When speaking with kids as a titleholder, one things is very important to remember – expect the unexpected!

At the end of the night, I had visited with hundreds of customers and collected a grand total of $174.00! It’s really amazing to think of how many contestants and IHOP’s across the country were working that evening to raise funds for Children’s Miracle Network and if I could collect $174.00, not including the donations from the free pancakes, I can only imagine what the overall total could be! I look forward to fundraising again for Children’s Miracle Network, and hopefully next year I’ll remember to celebrate correctly  by eating a short stack of pancakes!

20% Complete

If you’re not familiar with the Miss America Organization, it might be interesting for you to know that Evening Gown accounts for 20% of the overall score! Last weekend, Selby and her momma, Margie, came into town for a weekend of pageanting. My mom and I met Selby and Margie in Oklahoma City at 10 am. I was super excited since I had saved my “cheat day” (the day I can eat what I like….as long as I don’t go buck wild!) for when Selby came into town so we could have a fun meal! Since I was able to attend the trunk shows at Miss America, I had already tried on about 150-200 gowns while in Vegas. This is not a joke…some were so heavily beaded that I could hardly lift them!

After four hours of trying on and re-trying on gowns, we finally picked “the dress.” What amazes me about my selection is that it really is a great cross between red carpet and pageant – something which I’ve always found to be difficult. It’s exactly what I wanted but nothing I ever thought I would purchase. Go figure! I also was able to see several of my pageant friends and meet new friends who I’ll be spending a week with at Miss O in June. After lunch, we headed over to the Cheesecake Factory (YUM!) where I had one epic meal. Seriously, I must have tried a bite of at least 3 kinds of cheesecakes. Shh! It was cheat day!

On Sunday, we woke up early again and met Selby in Edmond for the Miss Oklahoma Winter Meeting. Last year, the meeting lasted from 9 am until around 2 or 3 pm. This year, we were completely done by 12:30! The board was on their A game and probably over-prepared since their fearless leader, Kay, was unable to attend. Kay was visiting her daughter in Texas since she is now a new, first-time grandmother! Selby showed me a picture of baby Kinley and she really is absolutely beautiful.

At Winter meeting, we are given ad page, wardrobe and paperwork information. This year I’ll be looking for a white ramp gown, orange or yellow swimsuit, white top/black skirt for top 5 interview and several sponsors to purchase ad pages in the program book! Luckily, the paperwork hasn’t changed much so Selby and I can begin tackling that ASAP. After the meeting, I was able to hang out with Selby before she left for Houston. I really enjoy spending time with her and while I don’t mind her living so far away, it’s probably a good thing! If she were closer, I would probably be making trips several times a week to just chat and taking up all her time!

On another note, I am proud to say that I have followed the workout 100% and have figured out the healthy eating thing! It really is easy, you just have to plan ahead. Sometimes I’ll prepare food 24 hours+ in advance if I know I’m going to be too busy to grill chicken or throw together a sandwich. I’m great with time management, but when it comes time to drive to class I always seem to lose 10 minutes somewhere. By planning my meals out in advance, along with the times and extent to which I’ll be working out, I’ve been able to maintain a healthy lifestyle!

While I would love to share my gown with you, I’d rather wait until it comes in and add pictures later. For now, enjoy these pictures of celebrities at the Academy Awards and the Golden Globes!