The News

Below is the article I spoke about previously. We have to keep pushing for more media coverage of anti-bullying work or these tragedies will continue to occur! Thanks to the Bixby Bulletin for running this news release!

Capitol Kind of Day

Thursday morning I went back to the capitol to visit with Representative Pittman. She is always going 100 miles an hour and I was amazed she was able to schedule a date and time to further discuss the bill and upcoming events. It was a cold morning for April, hence my call to Selby for a little “What Not To Wear: Capitol Edition.” Big news: I didn’t get lost on my way!!! There’s hope after all…

Rep. Pittman and I chatted for a while about where the bill is and the opportunities ahead. As of today, HB 1461 authored by Rep. Denny and co-authored by Rep. Pittman has passed the House, and passed the Senate, though amendments were made. If the amendments made by the Senate are approved  by Rep. Denny, the bill will go directly to Governor Fallin. Hopefully I will find out more in the coming weeks!

While at the capitol, I met with the pages from the House of Representatives. The students paging were from across Oklahoma, and one was even from Shawnee! While there, I was able to explain my platform and define relational aggression. I spoke individually with the pages as well, and several asked me to speak at their high schools. Rep. Pittman’s personal page also told me about issues she and her friends have had recently with relational aggression and bullying at Capitol Hill High School.

Though I’ve been working with my platform for several years and heard dozens of horrible stories, it never ceases to affect me and continues to break my heart. No one of any age, race or gender should have to face relational aggression on a daily basis and live in fear. Stories like hers remind me to not stop reaching out to schools and students, because while it may have gotten better for me, it hasn’t yet changed for them.

While at the capitol, I ran into Rep. Kris Steele, another Shawnee native. Each time I visit the capitol, I stop in to say hello to Kris and Charlie Laster, but they are always working too hard outside of the office! Today I also met one of Selby’s close friends, Kyle. He graduates with his Master’s degree from OU the same day I will be receiving my undergraduate degree and I really enjoyed getting to know him! He worked in the office adjacent to Valorie, the policy director, who asked me for several quotes. Rep. Pittman is working to put out a news release about my platform and the work she and I have been doing to stop bullying. If I catch it when it’s published, I’ll add a link and copy of the story!

Rep. Pittman also asked me to speak at a walk which is being held on May 14th (the day I graduate!) in Oklahoma City. It begins at a nearby church and is being put together by Kirk Smalley and Stand For The Silent. The walk will start around 8:30 am and I look  forward to sharing a few thoughts with those in attendance! Overall, great visit at the capitol and a busy week ahead!

At the Capitol

Thanks to the BA Ledger for a well written article, linked below! Yesterday was a fantastic rally and I was thrilled to be able to share that at some point in time, we have all experienced being a bully, victim or bystander. Victims typically bully others after they have been attacked and with the students, lawmakers and educators who united yesterday, I believe awareness of bullying has been heightened. Now it is important to continue the momentum in order to make our voices and actions count against relational aggression.

At the Capitol: Anti-bullying advocates rally in Senate chamber.

OKLAHOMA CITY – More than 1,000 anti-bullying advocates came out today in support of legislation that would address school bullying and cyberbullying.

            The ensemble of students, organizations and families advocating for House Bill 1461 met in the Senate Chamber, where testimonials were given by numerous individuals on the effects of bullying. The group included the parent teacher associations from around the state, the NAACP Youth Council, Top Teens of America, and Emerging Young Leaders of Alpha Kappa Alpha. The event was facilitated by Kirk Smalley, who is the father of the deceased 11-year-old victim of cyberbullying Ty Field, and coordinated by state Rep. Anastasia A. Pittman.

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            Smalley emphasized that the day was for those students in attendance who had been bullied to share their story. Pittman’s daughter, Ayshia, who is the 2nd Vice President of the Top Teens of America, gave the purpose of her national organization and how a local chapter has taken on bullying as a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

            Pittman said the rally gave students a chance to feel heard.

“Today is a wake up call to Oklahoma legislators that students are not only standing up for the silent, but they are also learning the process and the value of representative democracy,” Pittman, D-Oklahoma City, said. “We saved the lives of thousands of students across Oklahoma today by allowing them to feel like the bullying they face is being addressed. They should not have to balance threats and peer pressure to the point that they feel invisible or worthless.”

            House Bill 1461, by state Rep. Lee Denney, adds cyberbullying to current state laws that specify how schools should address bullying behavior. The legislation also adds law enforcement to the list of groups that should be involved in coming up with a school’s anti-bullying policy.

            “Oklahoma, we’ve got to do better,” Denney, R-Cushing, said. “Representative Pittman and I stand in solidarity that we need tougher laws to protect our children.”

            Steve Hahn, program coordinator for Family and Children Services, said the bill gives school administrators additional tools to combat bullying.

            “It gives schools and administrators and teachers some real depth in what they can do in pursuing cyberbullying either in or out of school, either inside or outside of school hours,” Hahn said. “With many of the administrators I’ve spoken to in the Northeast side of the state, it’s one of the No. 1 issues they’re facing today, cyberbullying and how it makes its way back into the classroom and how it really disrupts the school day.”

            State Sen. Sean Burrage recently received a constituent request to address the bullying of a child with Asperger’s syndrome who attends the same school as Truman Burrage, his son. Jared Henderson said because of his condition, he has received constant bullying.

            “People were calling me names and punching me, the worst one was ‘I wish you weren’t alive,’” Henderson said.

            Wayne Reid is the grandfather of a Millwood High School student who was bullied by adults through anonymous accounts on a website.

            “There’s a website called ok.coachesaid.com that allow adults to cyberbully,” Reid said. “We can’t have adults starting to say things like this to a 15-year-old child in any arena. I brought this to Representative Pittman to talk about this and bring it to light.”

            Miss Sooner State Britin Mills also shared her story.

            “I have been a victim and I have also been a bully,” Mills said. “I have had chairs pulled out from under me, I was made fun of for teen acne, I was crushed to the point that I had to switch schools and dance studios, but it didn’t end there. I lost all my self-confidence and I did not gain it back until I found a place to work against relational aggression and that was within the Miss American organization. Today’s youth speak out has been amazing.”

            Pittman was the author of a separate bill that would also address school bullying and cyberbullying. House Bill 1976 was known as the “Ty Field School Bullying Prevention Act.” She said it was important that House Bill 1461 include Ty Field’s name, as his father is a central part of the anti-bullying movement.

            “We are getting real momentum in the state and adding Ty Field’s name to the bill will help us continue to build momentum,” Pittman said. “We had this rally today to ensure that the voices of our youth are heard in making the request to Senator Halligan to add the name of Ty Field back on the bill.”

Former state Sen. Angela Monson, who currently chairs the Oklahoma City school board said bullying is an important issue to address.

“Today’s events are extraordinarily important to draw attention to a very significant issue in our communities,” Monson said. “It affects our families, it affects our entire communities, but most importantly it affects the lives of those individuals who are bullied.”

Stand Up, Speak Out

This morning was another early one for Miss Sooner State! I had the honor of being invited to attend the Youth Speak Out on bullying today at the state capitol, hosted by Rep. Anastasia Pittman. She is just exuberant and filled with drive. Rep. Pittman is currently working to pass HB 1461, which would target bullying in schools. Oklahoma, and the nation for that matter, is in dire need of bullying legislation. While our educators have some control, they cannot eradicate relational aggression in schools without the help of legislation.

I arrived at the capitol around 8:30 am and met several students from Longfellow Middle School (in Norman) and others from Claremore, Asher and Del City. Students were lining the rotunda of the Senate chambers and filled the room. We began after 9 am with Rep. Pittman introducing the event along with asking for a moment of silence for those who have lost their lives due to bullying. Rep. Pittman’s daughter, Ayshia, also spoke as a Youth Leader of America and how her organization has shifted its focus to bullying. Kirk Smalley then facilitated most of the session.

If his name sounds familiar, you may recognize Kirk Smalley from Stand For the Silent, an organization created after Kirk’s son, Ty, committed suicide after being bullied relentlessly.  Kirk travels to schools across the state to speak about bullying and spread a message of love – that you are somebody. Kirk helped several students share their testimonies, poems and words with those who attended the Youth Speak Out. Many offered stories about being the bully, how it happened and what they are now doing to stop others. Some read essays they had written with statistics on bullying, suicide and depression. Everyone spoke about being a victim and what they endured. Students would often break down in tears, to which the entire room would cheer them on and hold up the sign for “love.”

Teachers also spoke about what their own schools are doing to combat bullying and one mother gave a horrifying testimony of the beating her daughter endured and her inability to attend a public school, play a sport or go to a dance anymore. It was a very emotional morning, but extremely positive to see how many people cared to begin setting change into motion. At one point, I was pulled to the side and videotaped in order to provide commentary and additional information about my platform and the event to news sources. Afterwards, I came back inside to share my own stories. I explained about my program which focuses on one aspect of bullying – relational aggression and how I have also been the bully, victim and bystander. After hearing their stories, which are much fresher than my own experiences, I offered insight as to what kind of torment I went through. I told the room about having chairs pulled out from under me in a lunch room, having rumors spread, and becoming a victim to cyber-bullying through AIM fake screen name attacks. Even at 22 years old, I have been made fun of for not having clear skin. I knew the entire room could relate to my examples, since many had shared similar tales.

As recently as six years ago, I felt as though I was one of the few who had noticed and understood relational aggression, and one of even fewer who was speaking to groups about it. I worked with a local organization to visit middle school classrooms in order to continue spreading what I had learned from the Ophelia Project. Seeing the hundreds of students, parents and educators who showed up today was absolutely awe-inspiring. To know that there are that many students in our state who care makes me believe in the future of Oklahoma. With the support I witnessed today, I believe that not only can bullying be suppressed, but it will be. Something that is important to remember though, is that while Kirk Smalley or I can visit classrooms and create excitement about eliminating bullying, more must be done to protect our children. This is why we were at the capitol.

After I spoke, the speak out was concluded and Rep. Pittman and I gathered with several student groups for pictures. Soon we will be setting up another meeting to work further against bullying and continue pushing for HB 1461 to go through. While there, I also met a man who attended the Ophelia Project Summit in Shawnee with me! There were well over a thousand in attendance, and I wish more than anything that we could find the funding to bring back the speakers. I also ran into a representative who was so interested in relational aggression after hearing my testimony, that he googled it for more information. He, like many others, related it to the movie Mean Girls, and was surprised when I told him that it is just as common in the business workplace and that even 3 year olds utilize relational aggression. Being able to speak one-on-one with legislators is a wonderful way to further educate our elected officials and help them understand just how important the bullying bill is to our school system and students.

Yesterday, I made the trip to every elementary and middle school in Norman to meet with principals and offer my platform’s program. There was a lot of interest so I should be speaking to several classrooms and at school assemblies soon. Please let me know if you have a class or know a teacher/principal who would appreciate a concise program presented by Miss Sooner State about relational aggression!