A Green Day in PreK

You may or may not know, but I am a PreKindergarten teacher placed at a Headstart by Teach For America. I am truly lucky to have a site director who is supportive of the Miss Oklahoma organization and allowed me to take a bit of time from teaching and visit a few of the classrooms!

I altered my platform program to focus on character, goal setting and bullying. My green jeans were all the rage – and helped them remember my extremely long princess name of “Miss Green Country.” The three and four-year-olds were awesome and I was thrilled to chat with a few of my potential students for the upcoming year!

Quotes of the day

“Do you ride a unicorn to school?”

“Where are your high heels?”

“How could we be nice and helpful?” “You need to get a boy to kiss you!”

Powered Up!

The Girl Scouts have a fantastic anti-bullying program called “Powered Up,” and I was invited to work with several Tulsa and Muskogee troops during their week-long day camp. I have often been told that this curriculum is aligned perfectly with my platform presentation and I was amazed at the similarities! I spoke in the morning and later helped lead the initial Powered Up training.

The day-camp was held at the Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma house, built right in the middle of town with several acres behind it. I was even able to witness a flag ceremony – such a neat experience for these third and fourth graders! The kitchen was painted with Girl Scout words, and Girl Scout curtains flocked the large room. It is reserved for official Girl Scout meetings and used for a number of things. I was honored to attend and work with Powered Up! Thanks to the Girl Scouts for a fantastic day and my great new Powered Up shirt!!

Girl Scout Troop #649

Of all the amazing things which come from being Miss Green Country, sharing my platform is by far, my favorite! On April 16th I met with the Girl Scouts of Metro Christian – Troop #649. They are a group of fourth-grade girls who were following my presentation so perfectly – with thoughtful insight and a yearning for positive change.

I had a wonderful time visiting Metro Christian and enjoyed every question they had. From asking about my most shocking experience with bullying to how I keep my high heels on – we covered it all! Troop #649 is truly so fortunate to have great troop leaders who recognize the need for this type of program and maintain a close eye on their member’s relationships.

One member stayed to chat as the girls transitioned to craft activities and said she wanted to be just like me. My heart absolutely melted. It is always so special to meet someone who is struggling in many of the ways I have and who is searching for some sort of hope. I was so flattered by her honesty and really enjoyed talking about our experiences with relational aggression together.

This sweet troop also gifted two delicious boxes of Girl Scout cookies (those amazingly decadent Thin Mints and a box of peanut butter delight – Do-Si-Dos!) – which will be such a treat. Good thing Thin Mints are even better frozen! Several girls also said they will attend Miss O in June – how cool is that?! Thank you Troop #649 for a wonderful afternoon and such excitement about  working against relational aggression! I absolutely loved meeting each one of you!

Girl Scouts of Muskogee

On Friday morning, I woke up sicker than I have been in quite some time. I even had to take the day off of school! After spending the entire day in bed, I wasn’t sure how I would make it to the Girl Scouts of Muskogee on Saturday morning – but I did know I would find a way to power through!

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling a bit better – but definitely not great. I was so weak from a lack of nutrients, that I had to ask a neighbor to help carry my bag down. Yikes. As I began the hour-long drive, I realized I had passed Muskogee and we were a bit beyond Ft. Gibson. A Girl Scout troop leader met me at a gas station, and I followed her about 12 miles down a winding road, filled with the greenest of trees. I wonder how Green Country got its name….

 

We eventually turned down a dirt road, which continued for a few more miles, and led us to the Girl Scout camp grounds. These girls take camping seriously!!! The camp grounds had several cabins and sat near a lake, surrounded by lush forest. I even saw deer roaming when I drove in! (Though, my home has a deer feeder in the front yard, so I suppose I come from somewhat of a rural area of Oklahoma!) The troops came from Muskogee, Tahlequah, and surrounding towns – just to hear me speak! The middle school students were a bit shy at first, but warmed up quickly by providing answers and asking incredibly thoughtful questions.

Speaking with these troops, we had an amazing conversation about the bully circle and what roles we have experienced, with examples. Towards the end of my presentation, many girls had questions and I encouraged other troop members to think back on our discussion and see if they could problem solve a few solutions or responses. It was amazing to see them work issues out on their own with the feedback I had given.

Gifts galore of sweet treats!

The troops were so kind to invite me to speak (they even created a flyer to advertise it!!!), and gave me the sweetest gift as I left! I now own a Girl Scouts of Eastern Oklahoma bag to travel with, and it was filled with Girl Scout cookies (yum!), another bag, notepads, pens, a 100 Years of Girl Scouts bracelet, and much, much more! Thank you, Girl Scouts of Muskogee and Eastern Oklahoma, for sharing a wonderful afternoon with me! It is a trip I will not soon forget!!

Swimsuit ready for Miss O!

*On the way back to Shawnee (a good three hours!), I saw a Jeep with a Chi Omega sticker (how funny – just like my friend Kristin‘s – who lives in Nashville!). Wow, it even has an Indiana license plate like Kristin’s! What are the odds?! As I drove past the Jeep, I realized…IT IS KRISTIN!

Kristin dances with Nashville ballet and we became the best of friends as sorority presidents at OU. We both took the next exit and I was SO SO SO excited to chat with her and give her a great big hug! I knew she was coming to Oklahoma and that we would not get a chance to see each other. What are the odds that she and I would be driving from Ft. Gibson and Nashville, at the exact same time, on I-40? Fated friends. Here we are:

Girl Scouts Troop #748

Sunday afternoon is my absolute favorite time of the week, and today I was fortunate to spend it with the Girl Scouts of Troop #748! The troop consists of girls between fourth and sixth grade, each attending a variety of school from Salk Elementary to Catoosa and Owasso. They are a great group and each shared their own experience with relational aggression. I enjoyed having such an intimate, small-group conversation with them – allowing us to dig more deeply into bullying.

While relational aggression covers a broad spectrum of possibilities, we were able to discuss name-calling, teacher and school responses, gossip, school uniforms, and how poverty can be a target of RA. Since I teach in an inner-city school, I often forget what a normal school with a range of financial situations looks and feels like. I need to remember this since my students could face similar obstacles in the future. Teach For America has helped train me to be the kind of teacher which will teach my kids out of low-income status and help put them onto a new life trajectory though – changing the cycle of poverty.

Troop #748 is planning to perform skits about bullying in April at Salk Elementary, and practiced their physical aggression skit with me today! I was really impressed by the thought and realistic approach they took to it, and was so honored when they asked for my help with a verbal aggression skit. We came up with several ideas, and I think each grade will be able to relate to the final script created.

This group has wonderful mothers who are prepared to help their children through any stage of bullying – whether it is as a target, bully or bystander. So often, we are unable to see our children’s faults and believe only the best. The women I met today are prepared to lead them in the right direction and teach them, rather than allow them to make the same mistakes throughout life.

Thank you so much, Troop #748! I cannot wait to see your skits and the impact you make throughout Tulsa!

THINK

Relational aggression can be tricky on occasion – particularly in terms of being the bully. It is so simple to slip into that role without even realizing it. This seems to happen not just for students, but adults as well. The effect of relational aggression cannot be erased, but we can make an effort to better ourselves and end bullying now. Before you speak, THINK…

Three Times the Fun – Troop #753, #1030 and #960

After a full day of teaching, a staff meeting, and a curriculum meeting I threw on a fresh blazer and pinned my crown into my hair. As I was racing out of the school to my car, another teacher stopped me to comment on how literally I must take the idea of “wearing multiple hats.”

She hit the nail on the head! I love the diversity of my days because there is never a dull moment. Maybe I have to keep a spare outfit in my car (I can’t even begin to explain the possibilities of what might happen to me during school), but this is the life of Miss Oklahoma and Miss America. There is no down time and you absolutely must be prepared for whatever might come your way!

Girl Scouts and Miss Green Country

Wednesday, January 25th held my second appearance of three in a mere seven days. I am overjoyed by the responses to It Has A Name: Relational Aggression, and the interest taken by each student group. Brownie Girl Scout troop #753 and Girl Scout troops #1030 and #960 were no exception! This group consisted of about 20 third, fourth and fifth grade girls – each at a point in their lives where relational aggression is starting to become more noticeable and confusing.

Each had brilliant thoughts about why relational aggression occurs and how a bully gets to that point. They loved our telephone game and giggled excitedly at the difference between the original sentence and the final words. Their concerns varied, and I received excellent questions about followers and gossip. Several had stories about being the target or bystander, and it never fails to hurt my heart when I hear about such wonderful young leaders being the point of a joke.

With every student group I speak to, I gain an even deeper understanding of my own experiences as well. There are so many occurrences they are brave enough to speak about, reminding me of my own childhood. It is with this that I have realized time, fashion, and technology have changed – but relational aggression has not.

These sweet angels decorated a chalk board in preparation for my visit (it was adorable!!!), and gave me a lovely card along with GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! The new Savannah Smiles are a delicious lemon cookie dipped in powdered sugar, and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t have that box opened the minute I go to the car.

Thank you SO much, Troop #753, #1030 and #960! What a joy to speak with!

Girl Scouts Troop #340

It would be an extreme understatement to say that I LOVE meeting with Girl Scouts troops! On Monday, January 23rd I spoke to a group of Union 4th graders. The girls were just bursting at the seams with enthusiasm and had fantastic input about my platform.

Most of Troop #340

Each was eager to answer my questions or respond with an example of various forms of aggression! We spoke about bullies, targets and kids in the middle – with each willing to define and explain how they saw the roles. They were wide-eyed and all ears as I spoke – allowing me to be vulnerable in my experiences.

I was impressed with the maturity of these nine and ten-year-olds, and the solutions we brainstormed for them to use at school and in other social settings. Several had tales of seeing relational aggression occur often with special needs students, and were unsure how to handle the situation as a bystander. They felt compelled to stand up for these victims, but unsure of what words to use or how to say them.

This struck a chord with the teacher inside of me. Many of my students have special needs ranging from speech impediments to autism. I know my students may need additional support in the future, which compels me to reach more groups to empower them with the ability to stand up against relational aggression.

Afterwards, the girls had many great questions! The #1? “Are you married?” They were floored when I said I was not, and explained that unmarried women under the age of 25 are allowed to compete for the chance to win scholarships and the title of Miss America. This completely baffled them – until one spoke up that she didn’t want to get married until she was 28! (Power to you, girlfriend! Maybe I can steer her towards a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies too!!) They were curious about my talent, college (all are planning to obtain higher education – holla!), and most importantly the crown. Does it have diamonds? Are those crystals? Do you have to give it back? Can I keep your crown? How does it come off?

I had such a wonderful visit with this troop and I can’t wait to see the impact they make in their schools. Thanks for the invitation, Girl Scouts Troop #340!

A few additional photos for the girls – Thanks again!!

Central High School – Student Council

Cold and blustery days may nearly blow my crown off my head, but January 11th didn’t stop me from a fantastic meeting with Central High School’s Sophomore Student Council members! I contacted several Teach For America friends about speaking to their elementary/middle/high school groups and received great support for my cause from many corps members!

Walking into the crowded high school halls as classes were ending brought to light the stark difference between my Teach For America Pre-K experience and what it would be like to teach in a high school – particularly because I was among the smallest in the hallway! Some days, I come home with enough bumps and bruises that I think perhaps high school would be safer… (just maybe). Rushing off from teaching three to five-year-olds, I met with the great group pictured below. Steven Benson, the Sophomore StuCo sponsor, invited me to meet his students and these kids could not be in better hands.

A few of the Central HS Stu Co members

My program has mainly focused on elementary and middle school students until recently, and I’ve revamped it quite a bit for the older crowd. I was concerned about how it would be received with teenagers, but have been so impressed by the leadership I’ve seen thus far – particularly with this group.

Watching students come up with solutions and what kind of opportunities they recognize where they can make a difference makes my heart so very full, while those who show a bit of rebellion and question my cause inspire me.  As Miss Oklahoma, I would embrace this challenge in every school, student group and organization. Relational aggression is more than a passion, but a lifestyle choice. I hope to continue encouraging students like those at Central to make good long-term decisions for the rest of my life.

Thanks for inviting me, Central High School! What a cool group of kids who will absolutely be the face of change towards relational aggression!

Newcastle Middle School

Today was a really fun day! I’ve been so fortunate to team up with Janet, who works with the Girl Scouts. We worked together to combine my program with one of hers and it was awesome! The 6th, 7th and 8th grade girls of Newcastle were one of the best crowds yet. I’m always a bit concerned when speaking to older students, especially since I’ve met some sassy 5th grade groups, but the girls were intrigued and could relate to me so easily. My bullying experience peaked in middle school, and I can still feel the pain of being in a middle school cafeteria.

During Janet’s portion, she asked the girls to name a time they were hurt and then everyone would fold up the paper heart which was provided. Girls raised their hands with instances where they were called horrible names, left out or rejected. It hit home with one raised her hand and said she was called “pimple face.” Many know that I have struggled with acne for years, have tried nearly every medication, face wash, and even went to an Iridologist once. Even in recent months, my poor skin has been the point of teasing – and years later it is just as hurtful as it was in middle school.

As I began, I told the 200 excited young girls about my experiences with bullying – from being the victim to becoming a bully and a bystander. Their reactions and responses to my questions were right on par! These girls are smart to say the least. I was most impressed by their positivity. Occasionally, I will get a few smart-alecky kids (often the ones who need my program the most), but I did not have one negative comment or mean look. I haven’t had many students who react in such a way, but I expected it from middle school girls. I was thrilled that they took my message and ways to stop bullying to heart.

After the presentations, I fielded a great number of questions about bullying, what I have learned, and how to handle relational aggression. Normally, students are most interested in the pageant or my “favorite things,” but these girls meant business! They also wanted me to autograph their hearts, bullying bracelets and notebooks. I also signed three shoes – not my sole request (couldn’t resist), but the first time I’ve added my “autograph” to a shoe! I was also given a poem about friendship and what it can do against bullying. This sweet gift has been one of the highlights of my platform experience and I am thrilled to share!

“Friends are there to heal the wound

to pull you out of saddened tunes

to brighten up your cloudy skies

to clear up fictitious lies.

Friends are there with open arms

to comfort you and block the harms

to keep your secrets hidden away

and entertain when you want to play.

Friends are there, smile or tear

Friends are there, happiness or fear

Friends are fun and friends are clever

and the ties that bind friends will last forever.”

By Casey Ball

I could not have had a better day in Newcastle! I sincerely hope that these girls will continue wearing their bracelets and remember what they learned during my visit. Being able to share my stories and knowledge to make a positive impact is exactly what God intended for me to do. One of my purposes in life is to be the mentor and friend children and teenagers can look to for guidance. I’m not sure if serving the state as Miss Oklahoma or nationwide as Miss America is in the greater plan for me, but I will absolutely never, ever stop working against relational aggression.