Girl Scouts Troop #748

Sunday afternoon is my absolute favorite time of the week, and today I was fortunate to spend it with the Girl Scouts of Troop #748! The troop consists of girls between fourth and sixth grade, each attending a variety of school from Salk Elementary to Catoosa and Owasso. They are a great group and each shared their own experience with relational aggression. I enjoyed having such an intimate, small-group conversation with them – allowing us to dig more deeply into bullying.

While relational aggression covers a broad spectrum of possibilities, we were able to discuss name-calling, teacher and school responses, gossip, school uniforms, and how poverty can be a target of RA. Since I teach in an inner-city school, I often forget what a normal school with a range of financial situations looks and feels like. I need to remember this since my students could face similar obstacles in the future. Teach For America has helped train me to be the kind of teacher which will teach my kids out of low-income status and help put them onto a new life trajectory though – changing the cycle of poverty.

Troop #748 is planning to perform skits about bullying in April at Salk Elementary, and practiced their physical aggression skit with me today! I was really impressed by the thought and realistic approach they took to it, and was so honored when they asked for my help with a verbal aggression skit. We came up with several ideas, and I think each grade will be able to relate to the final script created.

This group has wonderful mothers who are prepared to help their children through any stage of bullying – whether it is as a target, bully or bystander. So often, we are unable to see our children’s faults and believe only the best. The women I met today are prepared to lead them in the right direction and teach them, rather than allow them to make the same mistakes throughout life.

Thank you so much, Troop #748! I cannot wait to see your skits and the impact you make throughout Tulsa!

THINK

Relational aggression can be tricky on occasion – particularly in terms of being the bully. It is so simple to slip into that role without even realizing it. This seems to happen not just for students, but adults as well. The effect of relational aggression cannot be erased, but we can make an effort to better ourselves and end bullying now. Before you speak, THINK…

Three Times the Fun – Troop #753, #1030 and #960

After a full day of teaching, a staff meeting, and a curriculum meeting I threw on a fresh blazer and pinned my crown into my hair. As I was racing out of the school to my car, another teacher stopped me to comment on how literally I must take the idea of “wearing multiple hats.”

She hit the nail on the head! I love the diversity of my days because there is never a dull moment. Maybe I have to keep a spare outfit in my car (I can’t even begin to explain the possibilities of what might happen to me during school), but this is the life of Miss Oklahoma and Miss America. There is no down time and you absolutely must be prepared for whatever might come your way!

Girl Scouts and Miss Green Country

Wednesday, January 25th held my second appearance of three in a mere seven days. I am overjoyed by the responses to It Has A Name: Relational Aggression, and the interest taken by each student group. Brownie Girl Scout troop #753 and Girl Scout troops #1030 and #960 were no exception! This group consisted of about 20 third, fourth and fifth grade girls – each at a point in their lives where relational aggression is starting to become more noticeable and confusing.

Each had brilliant thoughts about why relational aggression occurs and how a bully gets to that point. They loved our telephone game and giggled excitedly at the difference between the original sentence and the final words. Their concerns varied, and I received excellent questions about followers and gossip. Several had stories about being the target or bystander, and it never fails to hurt my heart when I hear about such wonderful young leaders being the point of a joke.

With every student group I speak to, I gain an even deeper understanding of my own experiences as well. There are so many occurrences they are brave enough to speak about, reminding me of my own childhood. It is with this that I have realized time, fashion, and technology have changed – but relational aggression has not.

These sweet angels decorated a chalk board in preparation for my visit (it was adorable!!!), and gave me a lovely card along with GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! The new Savannah Smiles are a delicious lemon cookie dipped in powdered sugar, and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t have that box opened the minute I go to the car.

Thank you SO much, Troop #753, #1030 and #960! What a joy to speak with!

Girl Scouts Troop #340

It would be an extreme understatement to say that I LOVE meeting with Girl Scouts troops! On Monday, January 23rd I spoke to a group of Union 4th graders. The girls were just bursting at the seams with enthusiasm and had fantastic input about my platform.

Most of Troop #340

Each was eager to answer my questions or respond with an example of various forms of aggression! We spoke about bullies, targets and kids in the middle – with each willing to define and explain how they saw the roles. They were wide-eyed and all ears as I spoke – allowing me to be vulnerable in my experiences.

I was impressed with the maturity of these nine and ten-year-olds, and the solutions we brainstormed for them to use at school and in other social settings. Several had tales of seeing relational aggression occur often with special needs students, and were unsure how to handle the situation as a bystander. They felt compelled to stand up for these victims, but unsure of what words to use or how to say them.

This struck a chord with the teacher inside of me. Many of my students have special needs ranging from speech impediments to autism. I know my students may need additional support in the future, which compels me to reach more groups to empower them with the ability to stand up against relational aggression.

Afterwards, the girls had many great questions! The #1? “Are you married?” They were floored when I said I was not, and explained that unmarried women under the age of 25 are allowed to compete for the chance to win scholarships and the title of Miss America. This completely baffled them – until one spoke up that she didn’t want to get married until she was 28! (Power to you, girlfriend! Maybe I can steer her towards a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies too!!) They were curious about my talent, college (all are planning to obtain higher education – holla!), and most importantly the crown. Does it have diamonds? Are those crystals? Do you have to give it back? Can I keep your crown? How does it come off?

I had such a wonderful visit with this troop and I can’t wait to see the impact they make in their schools. Thanks for the invitation, Girl Scouts Troop #340!

A few additional photos for the girls – Thanks again!!

Central High School – Student Council

Cold and blustery days may nearly blow my crown off my head, but January 11th didn’t stop me from a fantastic meeting with Central High School’s Sophomore Student Council members! I contacted several Teach For America friends about speaking to their elementary/middle/high school groups and received great support for my cause from many corps members!

Walking into the crowded high school halls as classes were ending brought to light the stark difference between my Teach For America Pre-K experience and what it would be like to teach in a high school – particularly because I was among the smallest in the hallway! Some days, I come home with enough bumps and bruises that I think perhaps high school would be safer… (just maybe). Rushing off from teaching three to five-year-olds, I met with the great group pictured below. Steven Benson, the Sophomore StuCo sponsor, invited me to meet his students and these kids could not be in better hands.

A few of the Central HS Stu Co members

My program has mainly focused on elementary and middle school students until recently, and I’ve revamped it quite a bit for the older crowd. I was concerned about how it would be received with teenagers, but have been so impressed by the leadership I’ve seen thus far – particularly with this group.

Watching students come up with solutions and what kind of opportunities they recognize where they can make a difference makes my heart so very full, while those who show a bit of rebellion and question my cause inspire me.  As Miss Oklahoma, I would embrace this challenge in every school, student group and organization. Relational aggression is more than a passion, but a lifestyle choice. I hope to continue encouraging students like those at Central to make good long-term decisions for the rest of my life.

Thanks for inviting me, Central High School! What a cool group of kids who will absolutely be the face of change towards relational aggression!

Girl Scouts Troop #003

On Monday, January 9th I met with Girl Scouts Troop #003 to share my platform – It Has A Name: Relational Aggression. The nine Union High School seniors were beyond fantastic – even though most preferred orange over crimson! It’s rare to find a group of this sort which has stuck together and survived the stigma (which we all agreed begins around 6th grade) that being a Girl Scout isn’t “cool” anymore.

Troop 003

From band to pom to basketball – multiple interests were represented. I had such a great time sharing my knowledge and empowering this group. They told of their own experiences with relational aggression, the changes in cyber-bullying over the course of the past 6 years, and how they intervene when they see relational aggression in action. With a graduating class of nearly 1,000 one can easily get lost in a sea of “redskins,” but this spirited group definitely stands out and can be the change for their classmates. Thank you, Troop #003 for the oh so very delicious, powdered sugar-coated Savannah Smiles cookies and inviting me to your meeting!

Wardrobe in the Works

In December, I (and probably 42 other girls) was beyond elated to receive an e-mail from the Miss Oklahoma organization regarding wardrobe for the on-stage competition. In the past two years, information on the swimsuit/opening number/closing number requirements was not revealed until late February – but now we have an additional two months to search!!

I am so excited to have the list of swimsuit options already! They include cobalt, turquoise, magenta and purple. There’s no telling what Kent has up his sleeves, but these colors will look absolutely fabulous together!! Our ramp gown, or what we wear for awards, is white again – something which will save money for many contestants. We will be receiving more information about the opening number outfit soon, but it will be great to begin working towards locating these items in the mean time!